


Help me, I’m in Hell

by PinkSparkleUnicorn



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant-Duke’s past, Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Lack of Communication, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, Pancakes, Referenced prostitution, Romance, Telepathy, Trouble related sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-08 17:31:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkSparkleUnicorn/pseuds/PinkSparkleUnicorn
Summary: Nathan and Duke must work together to resolve a trouble that threatens to destroy their friendship beyond repair. They must face their inner demons while learning to trust each other again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to HappilyAskew for all your help and support during the writing of this story...and for catching all my mistakes! And to GreyHaven for all your great ideas and encouragement!
> 
> This is set in the brief period after S2 EP 9 Lockdown but before Duke’s trouble is activated in S2 EP 12 Sins of the Fathers
> 
> Updates will be frequent...probably every few days.

Friday nights at the Grey Gull were normally very loud so it took a while for anyone to notice the Sullivan twins fighting. Most of the time Duke tried to stay out of family fights but this one seemed to be getting out of hand rather quickly. Add that to the fact that the Sullivan twins never fought made him a little suspicious that there might be a trouble. Of course it never occurred to him that it might be their trouble. 

He looked over to the table where Audrey and Nathan were finishing their drinks and tried to catch Nathan’s eye. He started walking towards the twins, hoping Nathan would follow since he was sitting very close to them. 

“Leave it to you to be so callous about this! Don’t you care that my boyfriend broke up with me?” Grace screamed at her brother. 

Finn just sighed, “You never hear what I’m saying to you. I care. I just don’t think he’s worth your tears! He’s a loser who’s been cheating on you for two years! Two years, Grace! Are you blind or just stupid??” 

Grace stood up knocking over her water glass causing it to fall to the floor and shatter. 

Duke picked up the pace and pushed through the other patrons to get to the twins before they broke anything else. Nathan finally realized there was a problem and got up to intervene if Duke couldn’t calm them down. 

“Stupid? Blind? How about the fact that you knew! You’re the closest person to me! My twin! Why wouldn’t you tell me? You have no idea what it feels like to be me right now!” Grace screamed reaching for her brother’s glass intending to throw the contents at him. 

Finn pushed his chair back so hard it tipped over. “I tried to tell you! You never listen to me! And I mean really listen to me! You never wanted to hear anything! Your mind was already made up and nothing was going to change that! I just want you to understand that things are not always what they seem!!”

Nathan grabbed Grace’s wrist before she could throw the glass at her brother. Duke put his hand on Finn’s chest and pushed back to create some distance between him and his sister.

“I think you two need to take a minute and calm down,” Nathan told them letting go of Grace’s wrist. He started to say something else when it seemed like someone turned up the volume of everything around him. He couldn’t focus. It seemed like everyone was shouting at each other. He turned in circle trying to figure out what was wrong. He lost his balance and had to grab onto the table to keep from falling. 

Duke had to hold back a chuckle.

_**[Just learning to walk, Nate?]**_

Nathan shot him a nasty look. “Not funny, Duke.

Duke blinked and backed up a bit, “You heard that?”

“Yeah, next time maybe don’t say things out loud if you don’t want them heard,” Nathan replied.

Duke’s eyes narrowed, “I didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Nathan shot back still reeling from all the noise around him.

“Say it out loud,” Duke replied totally confused.

Grace and Finn gasped at almost the same time. “Grandma was right!” Finn said.

“What did we do?” Grace wailed.

Audrey noticed something was wrong and rushed to Nathan’s side. “What’s going on?”

Nathan just shook his head. The noise was overwhelming and he didn’t trust himself to speak.

Audrey turned to Duke and noticed he looked very confused. “Duke?”

“I’m feeling way to many emotions right now. And for some reason I don’t think they’re mine. What did you two do to us?” He asked looking at the twins.

“I can’t...I need to get out of here,” Nathan said bolting for the door.

Audrey started after him. She turned to Duke on the way out, “Bring those two outside. I’ll go find Nathan.”

Duke motioned for the twins to go outside on the deck. He followed behind noticing the guilt coming off of them in waves.

“This better be an easy trouble to fix,” he muttered. 

Nathan and Audrey were talking at the farthest edge of the deck. Nathan looked up when they got closer. “How do we fix this?”

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. 

“You don’t know? You do know you’re troubled, right? Because it didn’t seem like it was a shock,” Duke asked again feeling waves of guilt mixed with anger and frustration. “Can you two stop with the guilt? And Nathan I know you’re angry but you’re giving me a headache!”

“You’ve got a headache? I just stood in the middle of your overcrowded restaurant hearing EVERYONE’S thoughts!! My head is going to explode!” Nathan yelled.

_**[What a complainer!]** _ Finn thought before he could stop himself. 

Nathan spun on him, “Really? Do you have any idea what this feels like?”

“No, he doesn't, but I do. I’m hearing everything, too,” Grace whispered.

Audrey put her hands up.”Okay, let’s figure this out. You two,” she said pointing at the twins, “are troubled. How does it work and who knows how to fix it?”

“We really only know bits and pieces of the trouble and how it works. And we have no idea how it fix it,” Finn told them.

“Grandma always warned us from the time we were old enough to understand not to fight. She said if we fought with too much emotion bad things could happen. We knew our family was troubled but our trouble hasn’t been activated since the early 1900s!” Grace cried.

Audrey sighed, “Why can’t it ever be easy? Okay, tell me what you know.”

“Just what Grace told you. We aren’t supposed to fight. And honestly we’ve done pretty good so far. Twenty five years and we never fought enough to trigger our trouble,” Finn replied.

Duke chuckled, “Actually, you weren’t alive the last time the troubles were here so you’ve only managed to not trigger it for about two years. You said they haven’t been active since the 1900s. What happened then? Did your grandmother tell you?”

“She said her father in law and his brother fought and it triggered their trouble. Dad would always cut her off because I don’t think he actually believed her,” Grace answered.

_**[That’s because Grandma was always a little bit odd]** _

“Finn, please don’t do that!” Grace cried.

“Yeah, well you need to stop feeling so sad and guilty!” Finn yelled.

Audrey interrupted them, “You two are not helping! Who knows how to fix this?” 

The twins looked at each other and spoke at almost the same time, “Grandma Sullivan.”

Nathan sighed when they didn’t offer any more information, “And where is your grandmother?”

“She’s visiting relatives on a remote island off the coast of Ireland,” Finn told them.

“And I don’t suppose you have a way to contact her?” Duke prodded.

Grace bit her lip, “Well...um...we can try. It is the middle of the night over there and sometimes she forgets to charge her phone...”

Grace pulled out her phone and dialed her grandmother’s number. When she got the voicemail her shoulders slumped. “Grandma, we have a problem. You need to call us back as soon as you can. Finn and I kind of activated our trouble.”

She put her phone back in her pocket and turned to Nathan and Duke, “I’m sorry. I guess we really should have taken the warnings seriously. I’m sure she’ll get back to us soon.”

Audrey looked at everyone and sighed, “Well, lets piece together what we know. Finn and Duke can feel emotions and Grace and Nathan can hear thoughts. The twins fighting triggered the trouble. The last people to activate the trouble were your great grandfather and his brother. What were you two fighting about anyway?”

“I just broke up with my boyfriend and Finn was acting like it was nothing. I told him he never understands what I’m feeling,” Grace began.

“And I told you that you never hear what I’m saying. I never said I didn’t care. I said he wasn’t worth your tears because he was a lying bastard who has been cheating on you for two years!” Finn finished.

Duke looked at Grace and raised his eyebrows.

_**[Two years in town like Haven and she didn’t know. Is she blind or stupid?]** _

Nathan and Grace glared at him. 

It was Grace who spoke, “You sound just like Finn. That was very hurtful!”

Duke put up his hands. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out. Wait, it didn’t slip out. I just thought it. It would actually be hurtful if I had said it out loud!”

“Okay, now we are getting somewhere!” Audrey exclaimed. “Each of you is experiencing what the other thinks you aren’t capable of understanding. Finn, you are feeling everyone’s emotions because Grace thinks you lack empathy and Grace, you are hearing everyone’s thoughts because Finn thinks you don’t listen to what he says. And I’m guessing you passed it along to Duke and Nathan because they were right next to you when your trouble was triggered. So, now we just have to figure out how to reverse the trouble. Why don’t you two go home and try to call your grandmother again. Get in touch with me as soon as she calls. I’d like to speak with her.”

“I’ve got to get back inside to my ‘overcrowded’ restaurant. Let me know what you find out,” Duke said turning to go inside.

Audrey stopped him, “Are you going to be okay?”

Duke laughed, “How hard can it be to deal with a few emotions?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts Nathan hears because of the trouble are in brackets. They are also bold and italicized to make it easier to tell what is regular conversation versus thoughts directly in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter but the rest are much longer. I may update again on Tuesday since this is so short.

By closing Duke was ready to collapse. It turns out the patrons of the Grey Gull had too many emotions to even count and when they got drunk oh lord was it awful. And to make matters worse he was getting sick. He had a horrible headache, stomach pains, and if he didn’t get to the bathroom quick he was going to vomit all over the nicely mopped floor. 

An hour later, Audrey stopped in to check on him before she went upstairs and found him writhing in pain on the bathroom floor of the Gull.

“Duke! What happened?” She asked kneeling next to him.

“I don’t know. I was fine until you and Nathan left then I started getting a headache, then stomach pains, then I spent the last two hours trying not to vomit all over everything. Add in all the lovely emotions I’ve been feeling all night and I think I’m going to die,” Duke rasped out before he leaned over the toilet and vomited again.

“When did you say this started?” Audrey asked pulling out her phone.

Duke stood up and shakily got a glass of water to rinse his mouth, “Right after you and Nathan pulled out of the parking lot.”

“And it got steadily worse?” She asked dialing Nathan’s number. 

Duke nodded and pushed her out of the way to vomit yet again. 

“Nathan, I know this is an odd question for you but how are you feeling?” Audrey asked glancing to make sure Duke was okay.

“I’m fine. It’s quiet here. Nobody’s thoughts in my head but my own. Why?” Nathan replied.

“Duke is sick. I mean really sick. I think it may be connected to the trouble,” Audrey told him.

“So? What do you want me to do about it? He’s a big boy. I’m sure he’s been sick before,” Nathan growled. 

“Maybe you could come over here and we could see if he gets better,” Audrey suggested. 

“No. I’m going to stay right here until you hear from Grandma Sullivan. It’s too much having all those thoughts in my head like they were my own,” Nathan replied.

“Nathan, he’s sick. Don’t you want to at least see if it has anything to do with the trouble? He said it started when we left. You could be sick, too,” Audrey prodded. Duke groaned beside her and vomited again.

“If I’m sick I don’t feel it. Why should I go help him? He seems to think it’s funny when I get hurt. Remember the tacks?” Nathan argued.

“You are starting to sound like a petulant child and it’s not very flattering. I’m going to get him back to the Rouge. I suggest you meet us there. If it has nothing to do with the trouble you can turn around and go home,” Audrey told him. 

Nathan didn’t reply, he just hung up. Audrey sighed. Why oh why was he so stubborn? She looked down at Duke and sighed again. “Let’s get you home. Maybe you’ll be more comfortable in bed.”

“Is that an invitation?” Duke barely managed to whisper before he was vomiting again.

Audrey tried to laugh but only managed a weak chuckle, “You are too much! You think you can make it to your boat without vomiting in my car?”

Duke stood up, “I’ll try. It’s not like I have anything left in my stomach to throw up anymore. Do you really think this a side effect of the trouble?”

Audrey shrugged as she put her arm around him to help him to her car. 

They stopped so Duke could turn out the lights and lock the door. “It wouldn’t surprise me but who knows. Maybe you just ate some bad shellfish.”

“Hey! I resent that! I don’t serve bad shellfish!” Duke said flopping into the passenger seat. 

They had to stop twice on the way to the Rouge so Duke could vomit. By the time Audrey got him downstairs he could barely stand. Nathan should have been there already. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cellphone again.

Nathan picked up on the third ring. “What?” He asked sleepily.

“Did you go to bed??” Audrey almost shouted.

“Maybe,” Nathan answered yawning.

“Nathan Wuornos! You have ten minutes to get over here or I’m going to drag you here myself and trust me you aren’t going to like that!” Audrey shouted.

“Okay, okay. But I’m not staying. You know he’s just overreacting so you’ll take care of him. He’s a big baby sometimes,” Nathan grumbled pulling on a pair of pants.

“Just get over here,” Audrey replied hitting the end button.

Nine minutes later Nathan walked onto the deck of the Cape Rouge. Audrey met him and all but pushed him down to Duke’s bedroom. He stopped at the doorway and looked at Duke’s shirtless form draped over the bed. He looked horrible. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat and he was paler than Nathan had ever seen him. 

Duke looked up when he heard Nathan clear his throat. “Took you long enough,” he grumbled.

“Yeah, well I’m only here because Audrey threatened me. You’ve been sick before. I’m sure it’s nothing,” Nathan growled back. 

Before he could stop himself Duke let a thought slip out...

_**[Yeah, why would you be any different from anyone else in my life? Why would you care if I’m sick when my own parents never did?]**_

Nathan was momentarily stunned by Duke’s thought. He looked back over his shoulder at Audrey and saw the genuine concern on her face. He realized Duke wasn’t faking and felt suddenly guilty. 

_**[Aaah, so you do care. Maybe you aren’t a selfish ass.]**_

“Stop that!” Nathan said pointing a finger at Duke.

Duke raised his hands, “Why? It’s easier and I still feel like shit but at least I don’t have to vomit anymore.”

Audrey pushed Nathan into the room. “How about now? How do you feel now?”

Duke sat up, “Better. Good actually. Oh thank God, my headache is gone!”

“Okay, that’s good. So, your sickness is connected to the trouble. The closer you two are the better Duke feels,” Audrey said.

“And why is this good?” Nathan asked crossing his arms across his chest.

“Because it means we know how to keep him from getting sick again,” Audrey replied.

“How?” Nathan asked dreading the answer.

Audrey grinned, “Duke, it looks like you just got a new roomie.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nathan backed out of the room shaking his head, “Absolutely not! I am not staying on this boat with Duke.”

“Like I want you on my boat when you can read my mind? I’ll have to find new places to hide all my guns!” Duke groaned.

“Maybe if you didn’t own _illegal guns_ I wouldn’t have to try to find them,” Nathan countered.

“Who says they’re illegal?” Duke asked innocently.

Nathan raised his eyebrow and backed further out of Duke’s room.

Duke reached up and started rubbing his forehead. 

_**[Nate, stop being a dick!]**_

“Stop talking in my head!” Nathan snapped.

“Do you two ever stop? Duke, is the alternative better? You want to keep vomiting until we fix this trouble?” Audrey asked him. 

Duke glared at her and Nathan. “I do NOT want to start vomiting again, thank you very much.”

“You could stay with Nathan,” Audrey offered.

Now it was Nathan’s turn to glare. “No.”

Duke felt a quick burst of panic from Nathan. He grinned...

_**[Afraid I’ll find your decoupage collection?]**_

“I told you to stop doing that! I don’t want any questions. And you staying in my house would raise questions. I’d like to keep this trouble quiet. I’m the Chief of Police. I don’t need people to stop trusting me because they think I’m reading their minds. If you stop being a pain in the ass I’ll stay here,” Nathan reluctantly agreed.

Duke put up his hands, “I’ll try but I can’t make any promises.”

“Does this mean I can leave and get a few hours of sleep before I have to be at the station?” Audrey asked feeling a little relieved.

“Go, Parker. Just call me the minute you hear from Grandma Sullivan. I want to make sure this trouble doesn’t have any more surprises attached to it,” Nathan said as she headed towards the deck. 

“Goodnight boys! Try not to kill each other,” Audrey said cheerfully.

Once she heard the door lock behind her she laughed. She wished she could be there when Nathan realized he’d have to share the bed with Duke in order to keep him from getting sick. He was not going to take that well. Maybe this trouble would be good for them. Maybe they could work on their issues. Or maybe they’d kill each other. Either way she would likely get some peace.

Once Audrey was gone and the Rouge was locked up for the night Duke turned to Nathan, “I need a shower.”

Nathan raised an eyebrow, “And?”

Duke looked a little uncomfortable, “Could you stand outside the door so I don’t start feeling like crap again?”

Nathan groaned, “Are you seriously going to make me stand outside the bathroom door so you don’t get a headache? Can’t you suck it up while you take your shower?”

“You know what forget it. Just don’t go farther than the bedroom. My stomach can’t take any more vomiting tonight,” Duke snapped turning towards the bathroom.

Nathan heard him turn on the water and get in the shower. He walked back in the bedroom and sat on the bed. He stayed there for about two minutes before he sighed and stalked down the hall to the bathroom. He sat on the floor outside the door and waited for Duke to finish his shower. 

Duke almost tripped over Nathan when he opened the bathroom door. He looked a little stunned but didn’t say anything. Nathan stood up and gestured for Duke to go in front of him. Duke kept stealing glances back at Nathan on the way to his bedroom. Nathan stopped at the doorway and barely had time to look away as Duke dropped his towel. He tried to hide his embarrassment and knew he failed when Duke laughed.

“C’mon Nathan it’s not anything you haven’t seen before.”

Nathan cleared his throat, “You are such an exhibitionist!”

Duke laughed again, “And you are clearly not a voyeur. I’ll make note of that for next time. You can look now, I’m dressed.”

Nathan turned around only to be hit in face with a pair of pajamas. 

“What side do you want?” Duke asked.

“What side of what?” Nathan asked confused.

Duke sighed deeply, “Of the bed. Where did you think you were going to sleep? I have no intentions of vomiting all night.”

“No. I’ll sleep on the couch. You’ll be fine. Drink some whisky and go to sleep,” Nathan replied shaking his head. 

_**[I take back what I said earlier. You are definitely a selfish ass.]**_

Nathan realized he was never going to get Duke to stop talking in his head no matter how much he complained so he just gave up. He shook his head again, “I’m not sleeping with you no matter what you call me. But I’ll help you figure out how far I can go before you start vomiting.”

Duke didn’t answer him. He just stood in his bedroom with his arms folded. 

Nathan walked out of the bedroom and slowly walked towards the living area. He heard Duke groan a few times but he didn’t tell him to stop. He passed the sofa, the kitchen and was almost to the other side of the boat when Duke finally yelled, “That’s enough. Don’t take one more step!”

Nathan walked back to the sofa and changed into the pajamas Duke gave him. “Good night, Duke,” he called out.

Duke responded by slamming his bedroom door. 

Nathan settled on the sofa and closed his eyes. It took about an hour for the guilt to get to him. He really wasn’t a selfish ass but maybe it did seem like that from Duke’s point of view. He groaned and got off the sofa. No one was going to know if he shared a bed with Duke. He walked back to the bedroom and slowly opened the door half expecting Duke to be pointing the gun he knew was taped behind the headboard at him. But Duke was sound asleep. He debated going back to the sofa when he saw Duke grimace and clutch his stomach. He laid down in the empty space next to Duke and closed his eyes. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. He changed his mind a minute later when Duke rolled over and flung his arm around Nathan and pulled him closer. Nathan wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t still awake. He was about untangle himself from Duke’s limbs and say something about not being a teddy bear when he looked over and realized Duke was still asleep. If he didn’t stop overanalyzing this whole sleeping situation he was never going to get any sleep, so Nathan just closed his eyes. He was asleep minutes later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to bold the thoughts Nathan hears from other people because of the trouble. This should make it easier to tell what is actually being spoken to him and what he is hearing in his head.

Duke groaned loudly when his alarm went off at what seemed like an ungodly hour. He opened one eye and confirmed it was way earlier than he was normally awake. How did his alarm get set so early? He also noticed his arm was draped over someone. His eyes snapped open to see a pair of blue eyes staring back at him. He blinked and slowly pulled his arm back. He waited for Nathan to speak or hit him he couldn’t tell which from his expression or his emotions.

Nathan sat up. “I’m not going to hit you. I’m the one who came in here last night. But just so we’re clear I am not a selfish ass and I am also not a teddy bear. We have to be at the station soon so I can help Parker with this case. I need a shower so you may want to follow me.”

Duke couldn’t form a coherent thought. Why was he following Nathan to the shower? Then it hit him, the trouble. It was way too early for this. He could feel Nathan’s amusement and he relaxed a little. He swung his legs off the side of the bed and got up. 

“Are you going to need clothes? Or would you like to swing by your house on the way to the station?” He asked like it was a normal occurrence for Nathan to spend the night.

“If you have something that won’t tell the world I was here that would be great. I’ll stop by my house after work if this trouble isn’t gone by then,” Nathan answered heading to the bathroom.

“I’ll try not to be insulted,” Duke said throwing a pair of jeans and a white button down on the bed before following Nathan. 

Nathan started to close the door but Duke pushed it open. “Nope...you aren’t taking a shower until I adjust the water. And yes, I know you can’t feel it but I’ll know and it’ll bother me.”

Nathan moved so Duke could turn on the shower. “Uh...thanks?”

Duke waved him off and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He had planned on sitting on the floor as Nathan had the night before but he decided to make breakfast instead. Sure, it would be uncomfortable and he would probably regret it but he was well rested and that was because of Nathan. He deserved a good breakfast. He knew from all the feelings that kept coming off of Nathan in waves that this was very difficult for him. His trouble caused him to be more reserved and closed off than most people. Hearing thoughts that weren’t his probably made him feel like he was losing control and taking advantage of people. And that was something that obviously scared Nathan. So, he went into the kitchen and made pancakes as a peace offering. 

Nathan was surprised to come out of the bathroom and not see Duke. He was even more surprised to find him in the kitchen stacking pancakes on a plate. “You made pancakes?”

Duke looked over his shoulder and tried to keep his thoughts neutral as he looked at Nathan standing in his kitchen in nothing but a towel. He must have succeeded because Nathan just stood there waiting for a response.  
“Yes. Yes, I did. If you get dressed quickly they won’t get cold.”

Nathan just nodded and retreated to the bedroom with Duke right behind him. He eyed the clothes on the bed. He was a little shocked to see that Duke actually owned normal clothes. Duke flopped on the bed and watched Nathan.

_**[You don’t have to be so shocked. Just because I don’t wear them often doesn’t mean I don’t own normal clothes.]**_

Nathan quickly pulled on the clothes and turned to Duke while he buttoned the shirt. He glared at him for the briefest of seconds and then sighed, “Just don’t do that when I can’t see you. If I start answering you without you actually speaking, people are going to think I’m nuts.”

Duke laughed and jumped off the bed, “Fair enough. Now c’mon, if you let my pancakes get cold after I endured a nasty headache just to make them I’m going to be pissed.”

The ride to the station proved to be very difficult. Once they had stepped off the Rouge they both were bombarded by thoughts and emotions. The closer to town they got the harder it was to concentrate. 

“This trouble sucks,” Duke commented slamming the Bronco’s door as he got out.

“Try hearing dozens of inner monologues at the same time. Hopefully Parker heard from Grandma Sullivan,” Nathan grumbled.

They walked in the station and turned towards Nathan’s office. Stan stopped them, “Chief, Detective Parker wanted me to tell you that she went to check on the Sullivan twins and she would check in.”

“Thanks, Stan,” Nathan replied over his shoulder.

The farther into the station they got the louder things became. Duke was feeling tons of emotions coming off of the officers and the suspects in the bull pen. It wasn’t that hard to ignore because it was mostly anger and aggravation with a little fear here and there. 

Nathan seemed to be having a harder time. Duke watched as Nathan stopped and grabbed onto the nearest desk. Nathan looked up at him with wide eyes. It was almost as overwhelming as last night. The only difference was no one was drunk. The thoughts bombarded Nathan unrelentingly.

**_[I didn’t do it!]_**

_**[Why is she lying?]**_

_**[Someone stole my mail.]**_

_**[How much longer until lunch?]**_

_**[Did I lock my car door?]**_

_**[I’m bored.]**_

_**[Why am I cheating on my wife?]**_

_**[I think my daughter is failing Biology.]**_

_**[Nathan, c’mon. It’ll be better in your office. Just let go of the desk and it’ll be ok]**_

Nathan almost answered Duke but he noticed his lips weren’t moving. He was holding Nathan’s office door open. He took a deep breath, let go of the desk, and walked into the office. Once Duke closed the door the voices got softer but they didn’t go away completely.

“This is very distracting. I don’t like hearing things I know are private,” Nathan told Duke. 

Duke lowered himself onto the sofa across from Nathan’s desk and nodded.

_**[Feeling all these conflicting emotions isn’t fun. I don’t know if I should crawl in bed and cry or go get laid.]**_

Nathan glared at him. “Not funny. You aren’t doing either. If Parker doesn’t get any information from Grandma Sullivan soon we may have to go visit Vince and Dave.”

Duke rolled his eyes, “Great. Just how I envisioned spending my day. Talking to those two. What makes you think they’ll tell you anything?”

Nathan looked up from the paperwork that seemed to multiply overnight and just raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Dumb question,” Duke said closing his eyes.

They didn’t have to go visit with Vince and Dave. Audrey knocked on Nathan’s door an hour after he and Duke arrived at the station.

“Grandma Sullivan called. We talked. It’s not good. She’s going to call your direct line in about ten minutes. I just wanted to prepare you so you don’t yell at this nice old lady,” Audrey told them. 

Nathan glared at her and Duke just scoffed but didn’t open his eyes. Audrey walked over to him and batted at his legs, “Scoot over.” 

Duke sat up and opened his eyes. “So, why would we yell at Grandma Sullivan?”

Audrey sighed, “Because you didn’t get hit with the trouble just because you were near the twins when it was triggered. You got the trouble because you have the same issue the twins have.”

She looked from Duke to Nathan and waited for one of them to say something. Nathan opened his mouth to protest that he wasn’t going to yell at anyone when the phone rang. “Chief Wuornos. Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan. Would you mind if I put you on speaker?”

Nathan hit a button and placed the receiver back in it’s cradle.

“Good morning again, Mrs. Sullivan. It’s Audrey Parker. I have Duke Crocker here as well. Can you please tell them what you told me?” Audrey said.

“Of course, Audrey. And I told you to call me Grandma Sullivan...everyone does. Good morning, Nathan, Duke. I haven’t seen you boys in a long time. How are you?” Mrs. Sullivan asked as if nothing was wrong.

Duke shook his head at Nathan’s obvious impatience and decided to answer for both of them, “We’re fine, Grandma Sullivan. Just a little confused about this trouble your family seems to have. Can you give us the run down on how we fix it?”

Mrs. Sullivan chuckled, “Well, it’s not exactly my trouble. It was my husband’s family that had this particular trouble but I’ll tell you everything I know. First, I’d like to apologize for Grace and Finn. They are very nice children but they didn’t really understand all my warnings. My son didn’t exactly believe in the troubles no matter how much we tried to explain it to him. It’s a twin trouble, you see, and Grace and Finn are the first twins since my father-in-law was born in 1909.”

“He was a twin? And he activated his trouble?” Nathan asked.

“Yes. He and his brother fought and it was activated during the 1929 troubles. They were fighting about a woman who tried to come between them. I don’t know all the specifics but they got angry and accused each other of not understanding and listening to each other. Very much like Grace and Finn,” She explained.

“Great. So, we know the why. Now how do we fix it?” Duke asked.

“It can be complicated. You have to resolve whatever issues led to the trouble being triggered. I know Audrey thought you and Nathan got hit with it because you happened to be standing near the twins but that’s not entirely true. I know you probably don’t want to hear this but you were hit with it because you have similar issues to the ones the twins were fighting about. You have to resolve them or you’ll be stuck feeling emotions and reading thoughts until the troubles go away again,” Mrs. Sullivan told him.

  _ **[I guess we’re never going to be rid of this. You have so many unresolved issues with me it’ll take years to figure out which one caused this. You think it’s about the tacks? Or maybe it was that pencil I stole from you in second grade? Or maybe it was all the times I beat you in poker. Hmm...so many issues to choose from!]**_

Nathan and Duke looked at each other. Audrey saw Nathan glare at Duke and could only assume Duke said something sarcastic in Nathan’s head.

“Grandma Sullivan, can you tell the boys the other thing you told me? I don’t think they are going to like it but they need to know everything about this trouble so they can take precautions,” Audrey said when neither Duke nor Nathan replied to Mrs. Sullivan’s explanation.

“Well, the most important thing to know is that you can’t be too far apart from each other. If you are further apart than how far apart you were when the trouble activated whoever has the empathic part of the trouble will get very sick,” she began.

“We figured that one out. My muscles still hurt from all the vomiting I did last night,” Duke griped.

“I’m glad you figured it out because it actually can be fatal if you get too far apart. I don’t know the exact distance you can be from each other before you die but I told the twins that if the vomiting starts they need to stop and move closer to the other person,” she explained.

_**[Looks like we’ll be sleeping in the same bed for a while, teddy bear.]**_

“Which one of us dies if we get too far apart?” Nathan asked glaring at Duke.

If Mrs. Sullivan thought that was a strange question she didn’t say it. “You both die. I told you this trouble was complicated. That’s why I tried to instill compassion and empathy into the twins from the beginning. I truly thought they understood. But Grace told me that her father told them I was just telling them stories to keep them in line. I’m going to have a word with my son when I get back home. He’s lucky more people didn’t get hit with this. In the past, a lot of people died because they didn’t understand the trouble. You boys were close when you were younger. You should be able to draw on that and figure out what needs to be resolved. I am truly sorry you got hit with this.”

“It’s not your fault, Grandma Sullivan. Thank you for all the information. If we have any more questions I’ll call you. Just try to remember to charge your phone,” Audrey laughed. 

“I will. And if I think of anything else that might help I’ll call you. Try to have a good day,” Mrs. Sullivan said cheerily before she hung up. 

Nathan stood, pushed back from his desk and stalked over to Duke. “You may think your sarcastic streak is funny but it’s not. You’re right, I have loads of unresolved issues with you. And unfortunately, we are going to have to find out which one will end this trouble. Right now I have a mountain of paperwork that has to be finished before we can go back to the Rouge. So, why don’t you sit there quietly and try not to get in my way!”

“Nathan! What has gotten into you?” Audrey asked completely shocked by his outburst. 

“It’s okay, Audrey. I deserved that. Well...most of that. But I will point out Nathan, that this may not be one sided. Maybe some of the unresolved issues are mine. Why don’t you think about that while you’re doing all your paperwork,” Duke said getting up and walking towards the door. 

“Duke, where are you going? You heard Grandma Sullivan, you two need to stay close,” Audrey said the concern showing on her face.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back when he starts feeling sick,” Nathan told her as Duke slammed the door behind him.

Audrey watched Nathan pick up a file from the pile on his desk. He was really going to let Duke storm out of the station. She sighed loudly and Nathan looked up. “What? I’m not going after him. He’s mad but he’s not going to kill us both.”

“Everyone I meet that knew you as children said you were close. What happened between you two?” Audrey asked knowing he was right about Duke not going far enough to hurt either of them.

Nathan didn’t even bother to look up when he answered, “He put tacks in my back. He became a criminal. And let’s not forget he triggered my trouble this time around. Any one of those incidents warrants me never speaking to him again. Don’t you think?”

“And you never did anything to him? You truly believe getting hit with this trouble is all his fault? I know you, Nathan, you aren’t a saint. You aren’t totally blameless in all of this. I think that paperwork will keep. Let’s go find Duke and maybe we can get to the bottom of this so we can all get back to normal,” Audrey suggested. 

“No. He’ll be back soon enough and my guess is he’ll bring some kind of peace offering like he always does. I need to get a handle on this paperwork before we get hit with a more destructive trouble,” Nathan replied continuing to work on the file in front of him. 

“Do you hear yourself? He’ll bring you a peace offering? You yelled at him!” Audrey pointed out becoming exasperated.

When Nathan continued to ignore her, Audrey reached out and grabbed the file. Nathan looked up at her and scowled. “Give that back.”

“No, you’re going to listen to me. We need to solve this trouble before another trouble hits. We can’t solve troubles with you and Duke like this. Go find him, go back to the Rouge, and talk to each other! I’ll take care of this paperwork because that’s what partners do,” Audrey instructed him pointing at the door. 

Reluctantly, Nathan got up and walked out from behind his desk. He walked past Audrey on his way to the door and she reached out to grab his hand. He startled at the touch just like he did every time she touched him. He wondered if he’d every get used to it. 

She just smiled softly, “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I know this sucks and you feel like you’re losing control of your mind but I’ll be here to help you any way I can. Okay?”

Nathan nodded and slowly pulled his hand away. “I’ll call you later. And thank you.”

“You owe me. You know I hate paperwork,” Audrey teased.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Duke and Nathan are constantly hearing and feeling things from everyone around them. For the sake of clarity in the storytelling I’m not going to write everything they hear or feel unless it is relevant to the story. Just know they are constantly being bombarded.

Nathan finally found Duke at the coffee shop flirting with the barista. He watched from the door for a few minutes amused at the girl batting her eyelashes and giggling. She was twirling her hair with one hand and touching his arm with the other. Then he heard her thoughts.

_**[I wonder if all the talk is true about how good Duke Crocker is in bed. Look how easy he is. Just a few giggles and well placed touches and he’s ready to jump me. I guess that rumor is true. I wonder how I can do this without my boyfriend finding out.]** _

Irritation flooded through him as he walked closer to the counter. Duke felt it and turned. He looked at Nathan, his face unreadable as usual. “Well, if it isn’t Haven’s finest.”

_**[Ass]**_ He added in Nathan’s head, evidently still mad.

Nathan ignored him and strode to the counter. He slammed a ten on the counter and grabbed the coffees that Duke obviously got as a peace offering, just like he told Audrey. “She has a boyfriend.” He spat out staring the barista in the eyes. 

She looked away too embarrassed to wonder how the Chief of Police knew anything about her personal life. But not too embarrassed to think a few sexual thoughts about Nathan as well. 

_**[I bet that temper is hot in bed. I wonder if he uses those handcuffs.]** _

He stopped and almost turned around but didn’t want to let on about the trouble so he just let her thoughts slide. He continued towards the door assuming Duke would follow.

“What was that all about?” Duke hissed when they got outside. 

“Learn to control your hormones, Duke, you aren’t a teenager anymore. She was playing you and you were letting her,” Nathan replied getting into the Bronco. 

Duke got in the passenger seat and glared at him, “I knew what I was doing.”

“Uh-huh,” Nathan said driving towards the marina.

_**[I thought you had paperwork. Where are we going?]** _

“I’m taking us back to the Cape Rouge. I didn’t want you vomiting all over Haven like one of your barflies. We need to fix this,” Nathan replied.

Duke laughed bitterly, “I seriously doubt we are going to be able to fix this. Don’t get me wrong, I want this to stop as much as you do. My headache is just starting to go away. But you are too stubborn to admit it isn’t all my fault.”

Nathan pulled into the spot next to Duke’s Land Rover. He watched Duke get out and slam the passenger door. He quickly got out and followed him to the Rouge. Neither spoke as they made their way below deck. 

As soon as they reached the living area Duke grabbed a bottle of whisky and poured himself a drink. He watched Nathan scowl at him and laughed, “What did I do now?”

“It’s not even noon yet! Can’t you do anything sober?” Nathan asked.

“It’s my boat and my whisky so it’s none of your damn business!” Duke yelled.

“Yes, it is! I want this fixed! I want YOUR thoughts out of my head!” Nathan yelled pushing Duke up against the wall. 

Duke shoved him, “You think I like feeling all your guilt, anger, and frustration all the time? Being around you is getting to be very depressing! Get a grip, your life doesn’t suck! Stop acting like it does!”

“Says the asshole who took away my ability to FEEL ANYTHING! Who the hell do you think you are to tell me MY life doesn’t suck?” Nathan said shoving him back. 

“Goddamnit, Nathan! How many times do I have to apologize for all the things I’ve done wrong? How about all the times you arrest me for things you _think_ I did? Or the parking tickets you insist on giving me? You think you’re a saint but you’re just a sanctimonious prick! You aren’t better than me just because you’re a cop!” Duke yelled.

Nathan threw his hands up, “I give you parking tickets because you park illegally! And if you don’t want me to arrest you, stop acting like a lowlife criminal! Stop making bad choices! Learn to make an honest living!”

“Fuck you, Nate! You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Duke growled shoving Nathan against the table.

Nathan pushed off the table and pulled his arm back to punch Duke just like he had done dozens of times before. 

This time though he got a flash in his head. It wasn’t quite the same as the thoughts he’d been hearing but he knew it was coming from Duke. 

_**[He saw Duke about four years old getting slapped across the face by Simon. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Duke’s mother was there. And she just stood there calmly smoking her cigarette. She didn’t try to protect her son.]** _

What kind of mother does that? He knew without a doubt if the Chief had raised a hand to him like that his mother would have stepped in front of him. Nathan lowered his arm and just stared at Duke. Stunned. He had heard stories and knew Duke’s father had hit him when they were older but he had no idea it started so early. The shock quickly turned to anger and sympathy. He opened his mouth to say something but Duke beat him to it, obviously mistaking his sympathy for pity. 

“You can get rid of the pity, Nathan. I don’t need it! This is exactly why I want you out of my head!” Duke said moving to pour himself another glass of whisky.

“I didn’t realize...I should have...,” Nathan began but once again Duke cut him off. 

“Should have what, Nate? You have to stop feeling guilty for all the shitty things that happened in my childhood. In case you’ve forgotten you were just a kid, too. It’s not like you could have stopped any of it! By the way, the same shitty stuff happened to you, too. You’re just lucky because you were too young to remember Max beating the crap out of you! Now get the hell out of my way!” Duke shouted pushing past Nathan and going into his bedroom. He slammed the door in Nathan’s face.

Nathan stood outside of Duke’s door and tried to talk to him. “Duke, I’m sorry.”

_**[He’s sorry but nothing will change.]** _

“It will change. We can work on whatever issues we both have. I’ll try not to be a dick. We can end this trouble,” Nathan promised. 

“Leave me alone, Nathan! And stay out of my head!” 

“How the hell am I supposed to do that? I hear you without even trying! Nothing turns it off!” Nathan protested. “Can I come in?”

“No. Just go away,” Duke replied.

Nathan tried to open the door and found that Duke had locked it. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want you to get sick again. Let me in so we can talk. Please?”

Duke responded by singing. At first Nathan thought he had turned on the radio but then realized he was hearing Duke in his head. 

_**[It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside**_  
_**I’m not one of those who can easily hide**_  
_**I don’t have much money but boy, If I did**_  
_**I’d buy a big house where we both could live]**_

Nathan took a deep breath and slid to the floor. It was the first song he heard Audrey play on the piano. 

He let Duke’s voice wash over him. It seemed to calm him and he realized he couldn’t hear anything in his head while Duke was singing. Even on the boat he was able to hear the people on the dock if they got close to the Rouge; but not now. All he heard was Duke and for the fist time in a long time he felt calm and relaxed. He knew they couldn’t stay like this though. They needed to talk. Reluctantly, he pulled out his phone and texted Audrey.

Nathan: I need you at the Rouge ASAP

Audrey: You didn’t kill him, did you? I’m not helping you get rid of a body. 

Nathan: No. He’s locked in his room.

Audrey: Oh, so now he’s being the petulant child?

Nathan: It was my fault. 

Audrey: At least you’re admitting it. I’ll be there soon. 

Nathan: Thanks.

He put his phone down and rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He couldn’t feel the floor or the wall behind his head and he was sure if he could his body would be screaming at him. He just sat and listened to Duke.

_**[So, excuse me forgetting but these things I do**_  
_**You see, I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue**_  
_**Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean**_  
_**Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen**_  
_**And you can tell everybody this is your song**_  
_**It may be quite simple but now that it’s done**_  
_**I hope you don’t mind**_  
_**I hope you don’t mind**_  
_**That I put down into words**_  
_**How wonderful life is while you’re in the world]**_

Inside his room Duke stared at the ceiling and kept singing. He could feel Nathan’s emotions change as soon as he started. 

He only thought to keep Nathan from getting any more glimpses of all the horrible crap he kept hidden from the world but this was so much better.  
Nathan was calm. He wasn’t feeling angry or frustrated or scared; emotions that Duke hadn’t stopped feeling from him since this trouble started. 

When had they become so broken? He thought about what Grandma Sullivan had said. They had been friends once. He missed that. Maybe just maybe by solving this trouble they could go back to what they used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Duke “sings” in Nathan’s head is “Your Song” by Elton John


	6. Chapter 6

Audrey arrived to find Nathan sitting on the floor outside Duke’s bedroom door. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his eyes were half closed. 

She knelt down next to him. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Nathan turned his head to look at her. He nodded, “I’m fine. Better than I’ve been in a long time.”

“Okay, I’m confused. Your text made it sound like all hell was about to break loose. Then I get here and find you sitting outside Duke’s door calm and blissed out like you’ve just gotten laid. What’s going on?” Audrey asked obviously irritated.

“It was...is...nothing’s been resolved. It’s just the singing. It’s blocking out everything else. I can’t explain why but I feel relaxed,” Nathan said standing up. 

“What singing? I don’t hear anything,” Audrey said narrowing her eyes at him. “Are you losing it?”

Nathan sighed, “That’s right. You wouldn’t hear it. He’s singing in my head.”

Audrey just shook her head, “Do I want to know why he locked himself in his room?” 

Nathan pulled her away from the door enough that Duke wouldn’t overhear but not enough to give him a headache. 

“We were fighting. Shoving each other. I started to throw a punch when something weird happened. I _saw_ one of his memories. One I know he didn’t want me to see. He got angry and locked himself in his room. I think he started singing as a defense so I wouldn’t hear anymore of his thoughts but...”

“But what?” Audrey prodded.

“I’ve never felt so calm before. I mean not that I can remember...I don’t understand it. It’s making this damn trouble almost bearable. There’s something else...something he said to me, Parker, about my father...about Max,” Nathan started.

“What did he say?”

“He said Max used to hit me,” Nathan said bluntly.

Audrey looked away not trusting her expression but Nathan saw through her anyway. 

He frowned, “You knew? How did you know? How did Duke know?”

“The Chief might have mentioned something when you stormed out of his office the day Max came back to town. And I might have said something to Duke. I never expected him to use it against you. I’m sorry,” Audrey told him.

“He didn’t say anything I didn’t deserve. I just want to figure this out but he won’t let me in. Can you try to talk to him? Get him to at least listen to me?” Nathan pleaded.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m sorry you had to find out about Max like this. I should have told you but since the Chief said you never remembered I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain,” Audrey tried to explain. 

Nathan shrugged, “I still don’t remember it.”

Audrey walked back to Duke’s door and knocked. “Duke, it’s Audrey. Can you open the door?”

He didn’t reply but she heard him walk across the room and unlock the door. She looked back at Nathan gesturing for him to stay put while she pushed the door open. She found Duke on the bed staring at the ceiling. 

“How is he?” Duke said gesturing towards the door.

Audrey closed the door behind her and sat on the corner of the bed before she answered, “He’s fine. Actually, better than fine. He says he’s more relaxed than he’s been for a long time but that’s not why I’m here. What happened?”

“He didn’t tell you? I was sure he was out there gleefully telling you all the gory details he saw,” Duke snapped.

“Duke, he didn’t tell me what he saw. Just that he was sure you hadn’t meant for him to see it. Which by the way is something new. He said he actually saw what you were thinking,” Audrey said.

“Well, we don’t have guidebook for the troubles so...,” Duke mumbled still staring at the ceiling. 

“Do you want to talk about what he saw?” Audrey asked.

“Nope,” he answered.

Audrey changed the subject to try to get Duke talking about something. “Okay, well do you want to talk about why you started singing in Nathan’s head?” 

“I wanted him out of my head. I figured if I was singing he wouldn’t be able to read my thoughts. I was going to sing something very annoying like the Oscar Meyer Weiner song but for some reason I started singing that Elton John song you like playing on the piano. After the first line I felt his emotions change. He calmed down and all the awful emotions that keep pouring off him just seemed to fade away. You know I still think he’s an ass but I hate that he feels so angry all the time. I kept singing because I want him to feel better. Audrey, I’m terrified we are never going to fix this,” Duke said sitting up to face her. 

“You aren’t going to fix it by locking yourself in your room. You have to talk to him. I know you two have unresolved issues that go on for days. I also know it’s going to suck having to rehash them all to find the right one. If you want me here while you do it, I’ll stay. But you gotta talk to him. He is truly sorry he saw what he did. Let him in, please,” Audrey pleaded.

Duke sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He nodded. “I know he is. I can feel it, remember? Okay, I’ll talk to him. You don’t have to stay though. I know how to control him now,” he said winking and flashing her a smile.

“I heard that,” Nathan grumbled from outside the door. 

Duke got up and opened the door, “You were meant to. Go walk Audrey out and I’ll make us lunch. And before you ask...no, I’m not making pancakes again.”

Nathan walked Audrey to her car. “Whatever you said to him, thank you. Hopefully, we can figure this out.”

Audrey smiled at him, “Nathan, he wants to fix this. I think he wants to be friends again, too. It’s not going to be easy because I think you’re going to have to open a lot of old wounds. But I will tell you this, the first thing he wanted to know when I went into his bedroom was how you were doing. I know he covers it well but he cares about you.”

Nathan nodded and closed her car door for her. “I’ll call if I need anything else.”

He watched her pull away and went back inside. He pulled the doors closed and bolted them before walking back to the kitchen. He stopped and watched Duke move around effortlessly pulling ingredients from the shelves without even looking. It took him a few moments to realize that contrary to what he said, Duke was making pancakes again. 

_**[Don’t make a big deal about this.]** _

Nathan laughed, “Wouldn’t dream of it. So, you want to talk about this?”

Duke didn’t turn around when he answered, “If by ‘this’ you mean my old man smacking me around before I was barely old enough to know what was happening...no...not really. Or if you mean my dear sweet mother not giving a damn...definitely not. But if you mean figuring out this trouble, then yes. We can talk.”

Nathan sat down on the bar stool and leaned on the counter. “The singing...that uh, helped...a lot. We seem to be finding out some weird shit about this trouble.”

Duke turned around and placed the pancakes in front of Nathan. “Yeah, too bad we can’t figure out how to get rid of it. How far back do you think we have to go to find our unresolved issue? I wasn’t kidding back at the station, we have a lot to choose from. Can we just say we’re sorry for everything? You think that will work?”

“I doubt it. If troubles were that easy to fix they wouldn’t be called troubles,” Nathan said between bites. “These really are amazing, Duke.”

“They’re just pancakes, Nathan. Even you can make pancakes,” Duke said feeling uncomfortable with the praise.

“Not like these. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

Duke shrugged, “Here and there. Kitchens are the easiest places to find work. I didn’t just do illegal things while I was gone all those years. Contrary to what you like to believe I wasn’t always a criminal.”

Nathan was about to say something sarcastic but he realized that Duke was being sincere. He didn’t see anything in his thoughts to indicate he was trying to rile Nathan up. Maybe this was part of fixing the trouble. Maybe he had to learn not to always think the worst of Duke. Audrey was right, this wasn’t going to be easy and it was probably going to get worse before it got better but he was determined to try.

“You know, my mom was an amazing cook. I wish I had thought to ask her to teach me more than how to make pancakes,” Nathan said wistfully. 

Duke smiled, “She was a very good cook. That meatloaf she used to make was incredible. I’ve tried to replicate it but somehow it doesn’t taste the same.”

Nathan tilted his head and looked at Duke skeptically, “You tried to make my mother’s meatloaf? How do you even remember it?”

Duke looked away not really wanting to answer but knowing Nathan would hear his thoughts anyway. 

_**[Those dinners at your house when we were young were some of the best memories I have of being a child.]** _

“I really miss her,” Nathan said getting serious again.

“Yeah, so do I,” Duke whispered glancing up quickly to see how Nathan would react to that. 

Nathan just stared at him slightly confused. Before he could say anything a memory flashed in his head.

_**[Nathan’s mother sitting between the boys on Nathan’s bed reading to them. Every time she would stop to turn the page she would pull them closer and kiss the top of their heads.]** _

“I’d forgotten about that,” Nathan said softly.

“I hope I never do,” Duke replied. 

Nathan wasn't sure how to respond to that so he cleared his throat and said, “I think I have her recipe book around somewhere. I can let you have it. It should go to someone who actually knows how to use it.”

Duke nodded and smiled. “Maybe I can show you how to make something other than her pancakes.”

“Not sure that’s possible but thanks,” Nathan laughed. 

“Nathan, I hate to ask you this but I really need to be at the Gull tomorrow. I’m catering a private event for the Gordon’s 50th Anniversary and I can’t leave it all to Tracy and the kitchen staff. This party could really put the Gull on the map, so to speak. But you know the Gordons, if everything isn’t perfect they could ruin me.”

Nathan looked puzzled, “Why would that be a problem? I’ll just ask Audrey to cover for me at the station and sit quietly in a corner while you work.”

Duke took a deep breath, “I have to give everything my full attention and I can’t do that if I’m fighting off a headache. I’m going to need you in the kitchen with me.”

“We just got done discussing my lack of culinary skills. What can I possibly do in your kitchen except get in the way?” Nathan asked honestly. 

“We’ll figure something out. You know I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t really important. Think of it this way, if this party goes well that means more catering gigs and less time for my ‘bad choices’ and ‘criminal activities.’ Isn’t that what you wanted?” Duke said turning Nathan’s earlier complaints back on him.

“Okay, I’ll do whatever you want,” he relented, “just don’t expect me to touch any lobsters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t mention it in the story because it didn’t fit nicely anywhere but Duke and Nathan are around 6 or 7 in the “vision” with Nathan’s mom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the remaining chapters Nathan has several thoughts that revolve around “feelings” and those aren’t so much physical feeling but more emotional. I’m kinda going with what he told Jess (in episode 8 “Ain’t no Sunsine) when she says she understands what he’s going through because of his trouble and he says “that makes one of us...my stomach feels like when my dad caught me with a girl in high school” Hope that makes sense and doesn’t seem like I’m trying to “gloss over his trouble”

Morning came much too early for Duke again but this time he remembered why his alarm was blaring at 7a.m. He opened his eyes and once again found Nathan staring at him. “Do I have to buy you a stuffed animal to keep you from cuddling me in your sleep? Keep this up and I’m sleeping on the floor.”

Duke yanked his arm from Nathan’s chest and opened his mouth to protest that he didn’t mean to cuddle him before he noticed that Nathan was joking. He could feel the amusement and he saw the sparkle in his blue eyes. “Yeah, yeah, shut up.”

Nathan laughed and got off the bed. Duke watched him and noticed his shirt had ridden up exposing a sliver of skin just above his waist. Before he could stop himself he let a thought slip out.

_**[Damn, that’s hot]** _

“What?” Nathan asked turning around.

Duke swallowed and shrugged, “Nothing. Random thoughts.”

“You’re going to have to lend me clothes again. We didn’t stop at my house yesterday,” Nathan said ignoring whatever Duke didn’t want him to know. 

Duke waved at his closet, “Borrow anything you want. I’m going to shower. You coming?”

Nathan felt like his heart skipped a beat and he didn’t know why. He hoped he wasn’t giving off any weird emotions. He nodded and followed Duke to the bathroom.

“You can shave and do whatever you need to while I shower so we can get out of here quicker. I have to run a few errands before I start prepping for the party.”

“Okay,” Nathan agreed waiting outside the door until he heard the water turn on. He washed his face, shaved, and brushed his teeth while Duke showered. 

“I’m just going to leave the water running so you don’t burn yourself. I’ll wait in the bedroom so you can have some privacy,” Duke said stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. 

Nathan averted his eyes but shook his head, “You don’t have to make yourself sick. Do whatever you need to in here. I’ll be quick in the shower.”

Duke swore he felt arousal and longing when Nathan stepped into the shower. He had to be feeling someone walking by on the dock because those were feelings that Duke didn’t expect be coming from Nathan in this situation. Especially not directed at Duke.

Nathan stepped under the spray trying to keep his crazy emotions in check. 

Back in the bedroom, Nathan searched through the closet until he came up with a faded pair of jeans and light blue button down. He pulled the clothes on and turned just as Duke was dropping his towel. He stared for a minute, admiring Duke. Had he always been this attractive? What the hell was wrong with him? Where did that thought come from? He finished buttoning his shirt all the while stealing glances at Duke.

Duke definitely felt some confusing feelings pouring off of Nathan when he dropped his towel. He kept his thoughts clear and dressed as quickly as he could. Whatever was going on he didn’t have time to even think about it. He had way too many things to do today to be distracted by the tiny, itty bitty, minuscule possibility that Nathan’s emotions were directed towards him.

They arrived at the Gull a little before eight. Tracy was already there lining up about two dozen to go boxes on the bar. “Morning Duke, Nathan. Everything is ready. Do you need help getting it all to the car?” She asked.

Duke shook his head. “Nathan can help. We’ll be back soon to start prepping for the party. Can you just call and remind the new sous chef that I changed his schedule and make sure the waitstaff gets here early enough to go over any last minute changes?”

Tracy nodded, “Sure thing.”

Nathan helped Duke put all the boxes in the back of his truck. “Where are we going?”

“I have to drop these off,” he answered evasively.

After the first few houses, Nathan realized what Duke was doing. “Are you bringing meals to these people?”

Duke didn’t speak he just nodded. 

“I’ve noticed they aren’t paying you. Are you doing this out of your own pocket?” Nathan asked.

“I’m not going to charge people who can’t afford it. They need to eat and I cook. It’s a win win,” Duke answered hoping Nathan wouldn’t get another flash into his shitty childhood.

Unfortunately, this trouble seemed determined to give Nathan a healthy glimpse of Duke’s crappy life. He knew he just projected thoughts of always being hungry as a child. He could feel Nathan’s emotions shift again but this time it wasn’t pity it was pride. Nathan was proud of him? He looked to the passenger seat totally confused. 

“You should take this off your taxes. This is a really good thing you’re doing.” Nathan said softly. 

They finished delivering the food and returned to the Gull to start prepping for the party. Most of Duke’s staff knew Nathan and didn’t question why he was in the kitchen. Though there were a few raised eyebrows when Duke placed freshly washed strawberries in front of him and handed him a knife. Nathan looked from Duke to the strawberries and waited for him to explain why he was holding a knife. 

“You can slice these for the fruit salad. It’s fairly easy,” Duke explained.

“Seriously? You want me to slice strawberries?” Nathan asked a bit nervous.

_**[If you aren’t doing something it’s going to make my staff wonder why you’re here. As it is they’re going to think it’s strange that the Chief of Police is slicing strawberries. It’s not that hard. Can you just go with it?]** _

Nathan nodded and waited for Duke to demonstrate how he wanted them cut. He was fairly certain he could do this without screwing up. If he could fire a gun he could at least try to cut up a few strawberries. That was until he heard the thoughts of Duke’s newest sous chef, Charlie. 

He saw Charlie shooting him odd looks a few minutes before he heard the thoughts in his head. 

_**[How is it possible not to know how to slice strawberries? Never realized the Chief of Police was so inept.]** _

Nathan stiffened but didn’t let it get to him. He _was_ inept in the kitchen. He turned his focus to the strawberries and worked to slice them the way Duke had demonstrated. It wasn’t that hard, just tedious. He was almost done when he heard Charlie again. This time he was downright rude and Nathan had a hard time containing his emotions. 

_**[My little sister could cut fruit faster than that. The Chief must really be an idiot. Wonder why the boss is letting him back here anyway.]** _

Duke looked up from what he was doing and tried to figure out why Nathan was suddenly angry and flustered. 

_**[Nathan, what’s going on? What are you hearing? Who is it?]** _

Nathan just shook his head slightly. Duke sighed. He didn’t have time for this. Obviously, someone on his staff was thinking cruel thoughts about Nathan. Well, if Nathan wasn’t going to tell him, he was just going to try to ignore the emotions and get back to work. It was proving difficult because in addition to Nathan’s emotions he was feeling everything from his staff. A lot of them were nervous to make a mistake that would make the Gordons upset. He could understand that, he was afraid of that, too. But one of his staff was feeling very smug and cocky. He looked around and saw from his expression that it was probably his new sous chef Charlie. He sighed again. He _really_ didn’t have time for this. Nathan’s emotions were off the charts right now. He could only assume that Charlie was mocking Nathan somehow. Duke decided to take drastic measures. Without a word, he left the kitchen and went out to the bar where Tracy was organizing the waitstaff. He pulled her aside and filled her in on what was going on. When she asked what she could do to help Duke smiled, “Sing.”

Back in the kitchen Nathan heard Tracy’s voice singing in his head and he almost cut himself. He looked up to see Duke striding over to him. “You told Tracy?”

Duke leaned in to talk to Nathan and not be overheard,” Yes, I did. This is really important to me, Nathan. I get it. You don’t want to tell me which one of my staff is being a jerk but I need you calm right now. You know that Tracy isn’t going to tell anyone. Just relax. Please.”

Nathan nodded feeling a little ridiculous that he couldn’t handle a few nasty comments. He let Tracy’s voice calm him for a minute before he picked up the knife to continue slicing the strawberries. 

The party went off without a hitch. The Gordons were very pleased with the food and the whole atmosphere of the Grey Gull. They promised to tell all their friends what a wonderful host Duke had been. 

Nathan stayed close to Duke while they cleaned up. When he stopped by the bar to thank Tracy he heard one of Duke’s youngest servers, Leah, trying to get up the courage to talk to Duke.

_**[Just walk up to him and ask. The worst he can say is no. Why did everyone have to decide to go to the cabin a day early? It was hard enough to ask for the weekend off. Forget it. I’m not bailing on the busiest day of the week. I’ll go next time.]** _

Nathan kept watching the girl while they cleaned up. She worked quietly, not joining in with the laughing and joking coming from the rest of the waitstaff. 

When Duke thanked everyone for a great job and told them all to go home, she hung back. Nathan thought she might have changed her mind and ask for the day off but she didn’t. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door. 

Nathan knew Duke wasn’t the typical boss. He often put the needs of his ‘people,’ as he called them, above himself. This tended to create loyal employees who liked to work for him. And as admirable as it was that this young girl didn’t want to leave him short staffed on a Friday, she really should get the night off. In a town like Haven there might not be a next time. He knew Duke would agree. 

He grabbed Duke’s arm and whispered, “Call that waitress back.”

Duke raised an eyebrow but called out, “Leah, can I talk to you for a minute?”

_**[Okay, Nathan why did just call her back?]** _

Nathan leaned into Duke spoke so she would hear, “She’s afraid to ask you for Friday off because it’s the busiest night of the week and she already has the weekend off. She’s going to bail on camping trip with her friends for you.”

Duke pulled away from Nathan as Leah walked over. 

“Did you need me to fix something, Duke?” She asked nervously.

Duke felt like an ass. He could feel how nervous and sad she was. He tried to come up with a good excuse to give her Friday off but couldn’t. He looked to Nathan for help but he just shrugged. He guessed he was just going to have to wing it. 

“Leah, with all the chaos today I forgot to tell you that I messed up the schedule for this weekend. I have too many servers on for Friday. Would you mind having the night off? I’ll give you a few extra hours to make up for it next week.”

Duke knew that sounded lame and Nathan had to stifle a laugh. The Gull never seemed to have enough staff on the weekends. But Leah didn’t seem to realize that. 

Surprised, Leah let out a yelp and hugged Duke. “Oh my God thank you!”

Duke laughed, “Am I guessing you needed Friday off?”

Leah let go of Duke and stepped back. “My friends changed their plans and I didn’t want to ask because it’s always so busy...”

Duke put up his hand and cut her off. “Leah, your life outside of the Gull is more important. If you ever need a day off ask me. I’ll do my best to give it to you.”

Leah nodded and all but bounced out the door shouting another thank you over her shoulder.

“Anything else I should know about my staff? Like who was messing with your head this afternoon?” Duke asked while he locked up. 

“I’m was never one to gossip and I’m not starting now. I just want to go home and get to bed. I don’t know how you do it. Today was exhausting,” Nathan replied heading to Duke’s Rover.

Duke’s eyes sparkled with mischief when he got in driver’s seat. “Home? Do I get to spend the night in your bed this time?”

Nathan felt oddly pleased at the thought of taking Duke to his house instead of back to the Rouge but he had no idea why. He just swallowed and shook his head, “Not what I meant. Though we should stop at my house before going to the Rouge. I don’t want to keep wearing your clothes.”

“Okay, now I’m offended. We’ve established that I do indeed have normal clothes. I’m beat. Can’t you just make it through another night and we stop on the way to the station in the morning? Who knows maybe tonight fixed the trouble and we’ll be back to normal when we wake up. I mean we made it through the whole day without trying to kill each other,” Duke said hopefully.

Nathan looked over at Duke. He looked as tired as Nathan felt. He guessed one more day in Duke’s clothes wouldn’t be the worst thing about this trouble. “Okay, we can stop in the morning.”

Duke turned into the marina and pulled up near the Rouge. They both got out and slowly walked inside. 

Duke bolted the doors and went to check the rest of the boat before turning to Nathan, “Thanks for today. I know it sucked for you.”

“You’re welcome. It wasn’t that bad. Good news is that I know how to slice strawberries now,” Nathan joked.

Duke let out a burst of laughter. “Let’s get some sleep. I’m assuming we have be at the station bright and early? Unless this trouble is gone in the morning...then I’m sleeping until noon.”

Nathan followed Duke to the bedroom and watched him collapse onto the bed and throw his arm over his eyes to block out the light. 

Nathan stripped out of his clothes before he realized he couldn’t find the pajamas he’d been wearing the past two nights. “How do you live like this? The rest of your boat is immaculate but your bedroom looks like it belongs to a frat boy.”

Duke took his arm off of his eyes to find Nathan searching his room wearing absolutely nothing. He couldn’t form a complete thought let alone answer him. He could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest and fuck...he was getting hard. He jumped off the bed, threw the pajama pants he wore the night before at Nathan, and headed towards the bathroom. 

“I’m taking a quick shower,” he called over his shoulder not wanting Nathan to catch a glimpse of what he was thinking. 

Once he was in the shower he let the hot water soothe his sore muscles. He heard Nathan open the door and walk inside. “You okay?”

Duke hoped Nathan was too tired to hear the thoughts in his head completely. “Yeah, I just know how your sense of smell is and I smell like my kitchen. Don’t want bother you.”

Nathan knew he was lying but didn’t really want to push him. He put the toilet seat down and sat down. “If things don’t get fixed soon we’re going to have to talk to Vince and Dave. They may have something more in their archives than what Grandma Sullivan knows.”

Duke let out the breath he was holding. Either he did a good job of covering his thoughts or Nathan was too tired to hear them. “Let’s find out if the twins have fixed their trouble. We can start to worry if they have and we haven’t.”

“Fair point,” Nathan agreed. “You almost done? I really do have to be at the station early tomorrow.”

Duke shut off the water and stepped out of the shower to grab his towel. Nathan stood up quickly and tripped over Duke’s clothes. Duke reached out a hand to steady him but slipped on the water he was dripping all over the floor. Nathan ended up pinned against the wall with Duke’s hands on his bare chest. 

Duke could feel Nathan’s heart racing beneath his hands. He took the shower to get rid of the indecent thoughts in his head and now he was thinking dirtier thoughts than before. He looked up at Nathan willing himself not to get lost in those perfect blue eyes. 

Nathan trembled slightly and Duke thought he caught just a hint of desire. He quickly backed up and started singing in his head before he ruined all the progress they had made in repairing their friendship. He doubted these new feelings were going to help the issues Nathan had with him. 

Nathan stared for a minute then raised an eyebrow before handing Duke the towel from the back of the door. “You’ll be okay if I go now?”

Duke nodded, praying to every God he could think of that Nathan hadn’t read his thoughts. He dried off quickly and walked back to the bedroom. He pulled a pair of shorts out of his drawer and got into bed next to Nathan. “Seven or eight?”

“Seven. I’m sure Parker tried but I doubt she finished all that paperwork,” he answered sleepily. 

Duke set the alarm and rolled over. He fell asleep almost immediately. 

Nathan on the other hand couldn’t seem to fall asleep. He kept going over the last half hour in his head. He knew Duke was trying very hard to keep him from hearing what he was thinking. He had been so focused on hiding the strange feelings he started having about Duke that he only caught a few of his thoughts. And they didn’t make sense. Sighing, he rolled over and tried to force himself to sleep. 

He was drifting off when he saw a flash of memory in his head. 

_**[Duke as a child scared and alone in his bed trying not to cry out for his parents because he knew they wouldn’t come.]** _

Nathan rolled back towards him and put an arm across Duke’s chest hoping to comfort him while he slept. He fell asleep wishing he could feel Duke’s heartbeat under his hand.


	8. Chapter 8

When Duke’s alarm went off in the morning, Nathan noticed the bed was empty. Confused, he sat up and looked around the room. Duke wasn’t there. He dressed quickly and went to search him out. He found him in the kitchen sitting with his head in his hands obviously in pain. Duke heard him approach and turned to look at him.

_**[This pain is getting worse. We need to fix this soon]** _

“Then why did you leave the bedroom? You stay close, you don’t hurt or get sick,” Nathan asked confused.

Duke answered by standing up to reveal breakfast waiting for Nathan. 

_**[I was trying to thank you for yesterday. But I think these are the last surprise pancakes you’re getting until this trouble is gone. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.]** _

Duke had endured a migraine to make pancakes for him...again. Nathan felt a surge of want flow through his body and settle in his stomach, followed by an bizarre desire to hug Duke. He definitely needed to figure out what was going on with his feelings. He couldn’t be attracted to Duke...could he? This had to be another weird side effect of the trouble, right? They needed to find out what issues still needed resolving between them before the trouble drove Nathan insane. 

He sat down and poured the syrup over the stack of pancakes.  
“You didn’t need to thank me again. It wasn’t the worst day I’ve spent with you. In fact it was probably one of the best days we’ve had in a long time. When we get to the station why don’t you just sleep on the sofa in my office. I don’t have much to do except paperwork so I’ll probably be in there all day,” Nathan said between bites.

Duke gave him a thumbs up. _**[Sounds like a plan.]**_

Audrey was waiting for them with coffee in Nathan’s office when they arrived. “The twins fixed their trouble last night. I’m assuming since I didn’t get any exuberant texts or voicemails that you two didn’t.”

Duke grunted, laid down on the sofa and closed his eyes.

Nathan shook his head and said, “We haven’t. But we have talked and hopefully we’re on the right track. How did the twins do it?”

“They talked about how they both needed to be more aware of the other’s feelings and to actively listen and not just ‘hear’ each other,” Audrey replied.

“Okay, I promise to be more aware and listen to Nathan...is it gone yet?” Duke asked without even opening his eyes. He felt Nathan’s amusement and groaned, “I guess not. Well, it was worth a try.”

_**[I’m going to take a nap. Wake me if the trouble goes away...wait don’t wake me. Let me sleep.]** _

Nathan sat down behind his desk. “Very funny. I’ll wake you for lunch.”

_**[Only because you know I’ll make you something.]** _

“No, I’m buying. You’ve cooked enough,” Nathan told him.

Audrey sat down across from Nathan, “I hope you’re answering Duke because otherwise I may have to call The Freddy to see if they have a room for you.”

Nathan gestured towards Duke, “He decided to be nice and make pancakes this morning. He neglected to wake me first so he gave himself a migraine. I told him to sleep it off while I worked. I really don’t get it, Parker. We are getting along better than we have since we were kids and this trouble is still here. What more do we have to do?”

“I wish I knew, Nathan. I’m stumped. I’m assuming you’ve tried apologizing to each other?” Audrey asked.

“Yes, but it was a blanket apology. I’m guessing we need to be very precise,” Nathan said sorting through his paperwork. 

“Maybe you need to dig deeper into your past with each other. Maybe it’s a very specific issue or incident that needs to be addressed,” she suggested.

A very loud snore filled the room and Audrey stifled a laugh, “I guess he took your suggestion to heart.”

“He hasn’t been sleeping well. He doesn’t seem to feel safe even with all the precautions he takes on the Rouge. That could just be because of the trouble but I don’t think so. I wish I knew why. Maybe it has something to do with why we can’t fix this trouble,” Nathan told her. 

“Well, maybe you should ask him why he doesn’t feel safe,” Audrey mused.

Nathan shook his head, “You know as well as I do if I ask he’s going to clam up. And if I push him he’ll just start singing. I’ll end up calm and relaxed but I won’t learn anything.”

“But that’s the way to fix this...talking. It’s not like there is anyone you can ask about his past. Anyone who would know anything would probably lie to you.” Audrey pointed out.

Nathan looked up at her. They stared at each other for a minute. A small smile formed on Audrey’s face. “They wouldn’t be able to lie to you. But who could give you insight into Duke’s life?”

“Laverne, Gloria maybe, and probably Vince or Dave. Can you stay here in case he wakes up? I’m going to talk to Laverne.”

“Uh, Nathan...you go down to dispatch and he’ll feel it,” Audrey said as Nathan reached the door. 

He nodded before turning back to his desk for his coffee. “I’ll talk to her in your office. Since it’s right next door it should be fine. Just let me know if he wakes up.”

Audrey nodded, “Just try not to upset Laverne.”

“Will do,” Nathan agreed taking the radio off his belt as he opened his office door. “Laverne, can you come up to Parker’s office. I need to talk to you.”

“Sure thing, hon. I’ll be right up,” Laverne answered. 

Nathan paced in Audrey’s office trying to work out how he was going to ask Laverne about Duke’s early life without looking suspicious.

“You needed to see me?” Laverne asked stepping into the office.

“Shut the door,” Nathan began. “I need to ask you a few things about Duke.”

Laverne looked confused, “Duke? What would I know that you don’t?”

“You know a lot about this town that most people don’t,” Nathan pointed out. 

“Okay, sugar, what do you want to know?” Laverne sighed sitting down. 

Nathan sat down behind Audrey’s desk and tried to work out what exactly to ask her. “What do you remember about his parents?”

Laverne scoffed, “Mostly that they didn’t deserve to be parents. Duke didn’t have an easy childhood. Things should have gotten better after Simon died but they didn’t. But you probably already knew that.”

He opened his mouth to speak when he heard Laverne’s thoughts.

_**[They started abusing that precious baby when he was barely able to walk.]** _

Nathan’s felt completely repulsed at that thought but he kept his composure. “What happened after Simon died? Why didn’t it get better. He seemed okay to me.”

“Because you were barely old enough to understand anything, Nathan. His mother _**[if you could call that vile creature that]**_ came back but she hardly looked after him. He spent a lot of his time at your house...don’t you remember?” Laverne questioned.

“I do. I remember my mother asking about him a lot even though it upset the Chief. I don’t think he understood how I remained friends with Duke after the tack incident. I actually don’t either...not sure I’ve forgiven him yet. But I mean later...when he was older...,” Nathan began.

“You mean after your mother died and Duke stopped coming over, don’t you?” Laverne asked.

_**[Maybe if the Chief had the compassion Elizabeth did Duke wouldn’t have had to resort to crime to stay alive.]** _

So far, Laverne wasn’t lying to him. He really didn’t expect her to but it was nice to see that she was as trustworthy as he always thought.  
“His mother left again, didn’t she? Right before high school?” 

Laverne nodded, “She left and he was forced to take care of himself.”

_**[And get arrested for things he only did to stay alive. Like that damn prostitution arrest when he was sixteen]** _

Nathan almost choked on his coffee and Laverne narrowed her eyes at him. “I knew it. You have the Sullivan trouble.”

“What? No!” Nathan lied.

“Nathan Wuornos! Don’t lie to me! I’ve known you your whole life and I know when you’re lying,” Laverne chided.

His shoulders slumped. “How did you know?”

“Why else would Edna Sullivan be calling your direct line from Ireland?” 

“That doesn’t mean I have the trouble,” Nathan protested.

“But Duke being attached to your hip for the past two days does. My mother was Edna’s best friend. I know how the trouble works. I’m guessing Duke has the empathic half of the trouble?” She asked.

Nathan just nodded feeling a little sheepish for not being honest with her after she was being nothing but honest with him. 

“I thought so. Now tell me why you’re asking all these questions and what you’re really looking for. You know I’m not lying to you since you can read my thoughts,” She said pointedly.

“I’m trying to fix this. The Sullivan twins activated their trouble while Duke and I were right next to them. So, we have to figure out why it hit us, too. Mrs. Sullivan said it’s because we must have the same communication issues the twins had. They fixed their trouble last night but we haven’t. I don’t know why. I know things happened in his life that he blames me for. I thought you might have some insight. Interesting bluff with the prostitution arrest,” Nathan replied.

“Oh, sugar...that wasn’t a bluff,” Laverne said sadly.

“There’s no mention of that in his file. I should know, I’ve arrested him enough,” Nathan told her.

“And there wouldn’t be. I had to beg your father not to book him. Nathan, there are things you never knew about your parents and about Duke. If Elizabeth had been alive there wouldn’t have been any reason for Duke to be out on the streets like that. But she wasn’t. So, he resorted to other means to stay fed and warm. Are you sure you want to hear this? Are you sure you can keep Duke from finding out what you know?” Laverne prodded.

“I need to know how to fix this! I need to understand but all I’ve got now are more questions. What does any of this have to do with my mother?” Nathan demanded.

“Your mother wanted to take Duke in after his father died. She fought with the Chief all the time about it. He refused but allowed him to come over for dinner and he tried to be civil towards him. Your father was sure he was going to turn out like Simon. He didn’t want him around you. Corrupting you, he said. Elizabeth had a good heart and all she saw was a sad little boy who was starved for both food and love. When she died she took all the Chief’s kindness with her,” Laverne tried to explain. 

“But prostitution? At sixteen? I still don’t understand...,” Nathan couldn’t find the words to continue.

“I had just started working dispatch and I got the call. Someone saw what was happening on the docks and called it in. Two men...sordid things behind a building. The caller recognized Duke. I gave the call to your father thinking he would be lenient. When I saw him dragging Duke out of his cruiser I ran outside to intercept them. I pleaded with your father not to book him. I warned him that this would haunt Duke for the rest of his life. I pointed out that if the people in this damn town cared more about doing the right thing than Duke being a ‘Crocker’ he wouldn’t have had to resort to this. I tried everything. He was adamant that Duke was going to jail. It was you who changed his mind,” Laverne said softly.

“Me? How is that possible when I had no clue about this!” Nathan protested.

Nathan caught a flash of that night in Laverne’s thoughts. 

_**[Laverne was pleading with his father to let Duke go, to show some mercy. His father was reacting the same way he did when Nathan screwed up. Determined to punish him. To teach him a lesson. In Laverne’s memory, Duke looked so defeated. There were streaks on his face from tears he had cried sometime before he got to the station and his lip was bleeding. Laverne’s voice turned cold and she spat out, “If Nathan were starving and alone would you want him treated like this? Would you want some cop to destroy your son’s life like you’re about to do to Duke? Think hard about what you are doing, Garland.” Nathan saw something change in his father’s eyes. He stared at Laverne for a few minutes before reaching for his keys. He silently unlocked the cuffs circling Duke’s wrists and walked away. Leaving Duke standing outside the police station stunned.]** _

Nathan just sat there, speechless. He didn’t expect Laverne to continue but she did.

“I tried to help Duke as much as I could. I fed him whenever I had the chance. I even tried to pay some of his heating bills in the winter but my husband stopped me. And when the old Chief found out I had interfered with an arrest I almost lost my job. I couldn’t help Duke if I had no job so I backed off a little and tried to get other people in town to help. Gloria helped out when she could and you know the McShaws did what they could as well. But this town failed Duke. He did what he had to in order to survive. And in the end he turned his life around in spite of them all.”

“How could I not know? I was supposed to be his friend,” Nathan asked again. 

“You were a just a kid, Nathan. And by the time you were old enough to understand, your father had poisoned you against ‘that no good Crocker.’ You have to stop beating yourself up about the past and look towards the future. This town needs you both taking care of the troubles...together,” she told him exhausted from her confessions. 

“Is there anyone else I should talk to that could help figure this trouble out?” Nathan asked his head spinning with all the revelations about Duke. 

“Probably Vince but you aren’t going to like what he has to say. And he’ll probably lie to you so be prepared,” Laverne said getting up to leave.

She got to the door and looked back at Nathan like she was debating on telling him something else. She sighed, “Nathan sugar, be careful. Duke hides it well but he is very easy to hurt. I know he’s done some really awful things to you and you haven’t forgiven him for it all. That’s understandable. But if you haven’t figured it out yet; you mean the world to him.”

She didn’t wait for him to acknowledge what she said. She just walked out the door back down to dispatch. Leaving Nathan to sort through everything he just learned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning for references to past child abuse and that certain people knew it was happening but did nothing to stop it for very horrible reasons.**

Duke was still asleep when Nathan finally made his way back to his office. Audrey was sitting behind his desk finishing the paperwork. He moved Duke’s legs and sat down at the end of the sofa. He looked up at Audrey. She was watching him, waiting for him to speak. 

“We have to go see Vince and Dave. They may have more information about the Sullivan trouble,” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’ve been gone almost an hour and that’s all you have?” Audrey asked incredulously.

Nathan shook his head and looked down at his hands, “No. It was worse than I thought. Let’s just say I’m going to have to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about Duke. I was so sure the issue we had to fix was something he did to me but now I think it might be something I did to him.”

“I’m sorry, Nathan. What can I do?” Audrey said walking over to him.

He looked up at her and it broke her heart to see the pain in his eyes. He just shook his head and nudged Duke awake. “C’mon, we gotta go.”

Duke stretched and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Lunch time already?”

“No, we have to go see Vince. We’re obviously missing something about this trouble. I want to see what they have in their archives. Maybe if we figure out what that fight between the Sullivan brothers in 1929 was really about we can use that information,” Nathan said standing up.

Duke groaned, “I can think of so many better ways to spend my time.”

_**[Can’t we just go back to the Rouge and spend the rest of the day in bed]** _

Nathan spun around to face Duke. “What?!”

Duke felt something interesting coming from Nathan. He wanted to explore that, push Nathan a bit to see what those feelings might be about. But now wasn’t the time so he just laughed, “That is so not what I meant, Nathan.”

_**[Get your mind out of the gutter. I just want to go back to sleep. I know I’m not your type.]** _

Nathan managed a real smile in spite of how upset he was and shoved Duke out the door. “Asshole.”

Audrey looked back and forth between them with a thoroughly perplexed expression on her face. “Do I want to know what that was all about?”

“No.” They said unison.

The walk to the Haven Herald was difficult for both Nathan and Duke. Audrey watched their reactions as they heard or felt the people around them and wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to drive. 

When they reached their destination Duke sat on the bench outside and looked up at Nathan. “They’ll be more likely to talk if I’m not attached to your side. If they think you have the Sullivan trouble they won’t help. They’ll be too afraid you’ll find out what they’ve been hiding from us. Try not to give it away.”

Nathan glared at him. “I think I can keep them from finding out. Just don’t go anywhere. You’re going to get a headache as it is. You sure you’re okay with that?”

Duke sighed, “If it can help get rid of this trouble I’ll take one for the team. Just don’t take all day.”

Nathan motioned for Audrey to go ahead of him. Dave greeted them when they walked inside. “Audrey! Nathan! What a pleasant surprise!”

“Morning, Dave,” Nathan replied.

Vince heard the voices and came out of the back room. “Hello, Audrey, Nathan, what can we do for you?”

Audrey spoke up, “We need information about the Sullivans. Do you know them?”

Vince and Dave looked at each other and Nathan could hear Dave’s thoughts. 

_**[Uh-oh. Those twins activated their trouble.]** _

Vince smiled, “Of course what did you want to know?”

Nathan got right to the point, “We spoke to Grandma Sullivan and she had an interesting story about her father in law and his brother. Said they fought about a girl? Wondering if you knew anything about that?”

Dave shook his head, “Can’t say that we do. That was before our time.”

“Sorry, Nathan,” Vince said. 

“Can you check your archives?” Audrey asked. 

Vince shrugged. “We can but I don’t think we’ll find anything. Come back tomorrow? We’ll let you know then.”

Audrey sighed and turned to leave but Nathan didn’t move. “Vince, I have a couple more questions if you don’t mind.”

Vince smiled, “What about, Nathan?”

_**[Of course he has more questions. He’s never satisfied with anything we tell him]** _

“What do you know about Simon Crocker and his wife?” Nathan asked trying not to show any reaction to being able to hear Vince’s thoughts.

Once again Vince and Dave shared a look. This time he heard Vince’s thoughts.

_**[I wonder if he knows the truth about Simon’s death?]** _

Nathan wondered what they knew about Simon’s death but he didn’t prod them. He was more interested in what they knew about Duke. He needed to see exactly how many people knew what was going on and did nothing. He had a feeling that was the key to this trouble. 

“Don’t know much about his wife but Simon was in tight with the Rev. Is that what you were asking about?” Dave answered.

Nathan decided to be blunt. “No, I was actually more interested in how they treated Duke. I heard they abused him.”

Dave shrugged his shoulders, “Oh, we don’t know much about that.  
Just the things you probably heard.”

Vince’s thoughts disproved that statement. 

_**[Beat him more often than not]** _

Nathan swallowed hard. He knew Duke suffered a lot of abuse as a child but to have two people confirm it in the same day was starting to take it’s toll. He didn’t know why he continued to question Vince and Dave. Even if the answer to the trouble was in something they might let slip, he was probably going to be too angry to see it. But he pressed on without missing a beat. “Why do you think nobody put a stop to it?”

There it was again. That look the brothers gave each other right before one of them was going to lie. This time Vince answered, “Wasn’t really much anyone could do. You’re a police officer, Nathan. You know abuse accusations can be tricky.”

_**[And since he was just a Crocker no one really cared.]** _

Nathan didn’t know how much longer he could control his temper. Laverne had warned him he wasn’t going to like what Vince had to say. Maybe he should just leave and try to work things out with Duke. They were getting along better and surely with Audrey’s help they could figure this out. 

“Yeah, they can be,” he agreed. “If you find anything out about the Sullivans give me a call,” he said turning to leave. 

Nathan had his hand on the door when he heard Vince’s last thought.

_**[Thought if he was destined to turn out like Simon then maybe it would have been better if he died before that could happen. That’s why we didn’t interfere.]** _

Nathan stopped so abruptly that Audrey bumped into him. “Nathan? What is it?”

He ignored her and turned around and walked back to Vince. His face was expressionless but Vince backed away instinctively knowing something was wrong. 

“You callous son of a bitch! I always knew you were hiding things but I never expected that. How much of what happened to him did you know about? How much did you turn a blind eye to? How do you justify letting a child get abused just because of his last name? You act like you do so much good for this town! What a load of shit!” Nathan yelled advancing on Vince.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Vince shot back trying to hide his thoughts realizing much too late that Nathan had the Sullivan trouble.

_**[Knew he was practically homeless since he was fourteen. Hoped he would just leave Haven and never look back. Maybe even get lost at sea. Damn! He heard that!]** _

“You’ve got the Sullivan trouble!” Dave cried before thinking _**[I have to get him out of here before he finds out too much]**_

Nathan turned his attention to Dave. “What don’t you want me finding out?”

“N-nothing,” Dave stammered.

Vince found his courage and stood his ground when Nathan turned back to him. “Nathan, get out! Until that Sullivan trouble is gone you aren’t welcome here!”

_**[Why does he care about Crocker anyway? His life would be so much better without Duke in it]** _

Audrey grabbed Nathan’s arm. “This isn’t helping anything. Duke is going to come flying inside any minute. Even I can feel your anger! What do you think he’s going to do if he sees you like this? Let’s just go.”

“You should listen to her, Nathan. Go, before you do something you’re going to regret,” Dave said backing up to put a little more distance between him and Nathan. 

“You don’t know what I heard, Parker!” Nathan growled.

Duke flung the door open. “What’s going on in here? Nathan? Are you okay?”

Nathan took one look at Duke and he could see the panic mixed with the pain from being too far away from him written all over his face. He reached his breaking point and slammed his fist into the desk separating him from Vince. “I’d think long and hard about the secrets you’re keeping. I hope they’re worth it. I don’t care what you do for this town. I’m never going to trust you again.”

“Get out, Nathan,” Vince said evenly.

“Duke, get him out of here! Take him to get that hand checked out. I’ll stay here and have a nice chat with Vince and Dave,” Audrey said pushing Nathan towards Duke. 

Duke grabbed Nathan’s arm and gently pulled him outside. “What the hell, Nathan! Let me see your hand.” 

“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt,” Nathan protested when Duke reached for his hand. 

“You really need to stop saying that. I know it doesn’t hurt but it’s already swelling up. You really better hope you didn’t just break your gun hand. What did they say to you anyway?” Duke asked as he gently turned Nathan’s hand over to make sure he wasn’t bleeding.

“It doesn’t matter. Just know we can’t ever trust them again. They...,” Nathan lost his train of thought watching Duke. He was being extremely careful not to move Nathan’s fingers while he looked him over. Most people, even the doctors who treated him for his myriad of injuries, didn’t take such care with him. They did what they had to do as quick as possible because he didn’t feel anything. 

Duke was doing the exact opposite. He winced as he moved Nathan’s hand like he was the one who just punched a desk. Nathan thought that was incredibly sweet. 

There it was again...that feeling that just kept creeping up on him. The feeling that made him wonder if he was blushing. God, he hoped not. 

Duke finally looked up at him and announced, “You need to go to to the hospital.”

“Nope. I’m fine,” Nathan protested.

“Audrey told me to take you to get it checked out and that’s what I’m going to do. Don’t make me call her.” Duke threatened pointing a finger at him. 

Nathan let out a big sigh and followed Duke towards the station so they could drive to the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More darkness at poor Duke’s expense. But I promise it gets better...

Duke ushered Nathan into the emergency room. The nurse at the desk smiled at Nathan. Most of the nurses were used to him being dragged to the emergency room for various injuries. 

“Nathan! What did you do this time?” She asked. 

Nathan picked up his hand to show her. “Hit a desk? It’s probably nothing.”

She shook her head and chuckled, “We’re still going to have to take an x-ray. Let’s get you checked in and then I’ll see who’s available to take you down to radiology.”

Nathan waited while she pulled up his information and called to another nurse, “Marissa, can you take the Chief back and take his vitals while I call down to radiology?”

When Marissa walked up to Nathan she raised an eyebrow and smiled. “I thought we agreed that you would try not to get injured anymore this month.”

_**[Didn’t realize you were such a ladies man. These nurses are practically swooning over you. Marissa is cute. You should ask her out for drinks. Bring her to the Gull, I’ll make you a really good dessert.]** _

Nathan glanced at Duke and rolled his eyes. Since Duke hadn’t spoken out loud there wasn’t much more he could do. He was actually grateful Duke was talking in his head. It gave him something to concentrate on besides all the people around him. The voices hadn’t been this loud since the first night at the Gull. The sooner he got his hand checked out the sooner they could go back to the Rouge and hopefully end this trouble.

“Come with me. We’ll get you set up back here and you can wait for the radiologist,” Marissa said heading into the ER. 

Duke hung back intending to wait in the waiting room. Nathan realized what he meant to do and shook his head. Duke shrugged and gave him a ‘what you do want me to do’ look. Nathan sighed and grabbed Duke’s arm to drag him along with him. 

Marissa brought them to the far end of the ER and made Nathan sit on the bed while she took his vitals.

_**[Oh, you get right on the bed for Nurse Marissa but I have to beg? Not cool]** _

He turned to glare at Duke but noticed the sparkle of mischief in his eyes and realized he was trying to keep his mind off of the other voices. He hoped the emotions Duke was no doubt feeling weren’t too overwhelming. Maybe he should just tell Marissa he felt fine and sign himself out. Duke must have guessed what he was thinking because he sat in the chair by the bed shaking his head. 

_**[You’re getting that x-rayed. I’ll be fine. And no I suddenly can’t read your thoughts. I can feel how anxious you are and I’ve also known you for over thirty years. You try to leave and I’ll pin you down and cause a scene.]** _

Nathan sighed because he knew Duke would cause a scene if he tried to leave. 

Marissa finished with Nathan. “Someone will be up in a few minutes to take you to x-ray. Can you please try not to get hurt again? I don’t want to see you back here anytime soon.”

_**[Though I wouldn’t mind seeing you somewhere more private. Like maybe my apartment]** _

Nathan’s eyes grew wide and he cleared his throat to try to cover his embarrassment. “I’ll...uh...try, Marissa.”

After she left Duke smacked his shoulder. “I told you she liked you. I could feel her attraction. What did she say?”

“None of your business,” Nathan grumbled.

Duke laughed, “I forgot how clueless you can be. You really don’t know you’re a good looking guy, do you?”

Nathan was sure heart skipped a beat, again. He was really going to need to figure this out. He was starting to think he might be attracted to Duke. Which is something he did not need. He was supposed to be resolving issues between them not creating more. And he was positive developing feelings for Duke would create more issues than he could possible deal with. 

“Give it a rest, Duke. You don’t have to rub it in that I’m a little clueless about women,” he said hoping it came off light and joking and not snarky. 

Duke raised an eyebrow. “A little? I think for you to realize someone liked you they’d have to rip your clothes off. And even then you’d probably think they got hit with some kind of trouble.”

Nathan was saved from having to answer Duke by the radiologist. “Hey, Chief, I’d say what a surprise but it’s not. What did you do this time?”

“May have slammed it into a desk?” He replied raising his right hand. 

The radiologist chuckled, “I’m not even going to ask what the desk did to you. C’mon let’s get that x-rayed so you can get out of here.”

“You going to be alright here? It shouldn’t take too long,” Nathan asked Duke. 

Duke waved him off. “I’ll be okay.”

_**[You’ll be back before I even realize you’re gone. It’s nothing I can’t handle.]** _

The x-ray took longer than expected but thankfully his hand wasn’t broken. Another nurse wrapped it in an ace bandage and told him he was free to go. 

By the time Nathan got back to the ER Duke was a complete mess. He was sitting on the chair in the corner of the cubicle with his head in his hands. Nathan moved cautiously towards him. “Duke? What’s going on?”

Duke looked up and Nathan wasn’t prepared for what he saw. Duke was crying and he looked terrified. He opened his mouth but no words came out. Instead Nathan was barraged by his thoughts. 

_**[I can’t do this anymore. Too much pain. Despair. Anger. I’m suffocating. I tried to leave but it hurt....Please, Nathan, make it stop.]** _

Nathan pulled the curtain closed to give them some privacy. He pulled the other chair in front of Duke. He reached up and put his hands on either side of Duke’s face, fingers curling in his hair. “It’s okay. Just calm down. Take a few deep breaths and we can get up and walk right out of here.”

Duke stared into his eyes and all of a sudden Nathan was flooded with visions from Duke’s life. 

_**[Crying when his mother left, Simon beating him, crying at Nathan’s mother’s funeral, having to stitch up Simon’s wounds, watching Simon fall into the ocean, begging his mother for money for food, staring as his mother walked out again, huddling in the boiler room of the school, cold and shivering on the streets, on his knees behind a warehouse on the docks, getting punched because the police showed up, begging Nathan’s father not to arrest him, getting arrested before leaving Haven, drunken fights at the Rust Bucket, being interrogated for smuggling in Thailand, Evi telling him she never loved him, sailing back to Haven, the devastation when he realized he triggered Nathan’s trouble,Vanessa’s death, Evi’s death; they just wouldn’t stop.]** _

Somewhere in the middle of all these painful memories Nathan had pulled him closer so Duke’s head was resting on his shoulder. 

“Sssh, it’s going to be okay. Breathe, Duke. You’re okay,” Nathan kept reassuring him; his hand rubbing his back. 

Duke pulled away from Nathan and tried to regain his composure but with all the powerful emotions swirling around him it was proving impossible. 

He had calmed down enough that the flashes of memories had stopped but he was still speaking in Nathan’s head. 

_**[Nathan, you have to fix this.]**_

“I will. I promise. Once we get out of here all this will stop,” Nathan assured him, reaching his hands up to frame Duke’s face again. This time he used his thumbs to gently wipe the tears away.

Duke shuddered and leaned into Nathan’s touch. He was exhausted and emotionally drained. He tried to stop the thoughts from spilling out but he couldn’t.

_**[I’m glad he’s here with me]** _  
_**[God, his eyes are gorgeous]** _  
_**[I just want to kiss him]** _

Nathan’s eyes grew wide and he thought his heart might just beat right out of his chest. Without thinking Nathan leaned closer to Duke and kissed him as softly and gently as he could. 

At least he hoped he was being gentle.

He heard Duke’s gasp and pulled away. He couldn’t read Duke’s expression and his thoughts were still a jumbled mess.

Nathan stood up and reached for Duke’s hand to help him up. Duke didn’t take his hand but he stood up never breaking eye contact. Nathan moved quickly, guiding Duke to the Bronco. 

Once he started the engine Duke broke the silence. “What the hell was that, Nathan?” He practically whispered.

“I don’t...,” Nathan couldn’t find the words to answer the question. He glanced at Duke. There were lingering tears in his eyes and he kept staring at Nathan as if he was trying to work out if he had just imagined the kiss. 

He truly hoped he hadn’t screwed everything up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter but it’s got a lot of good stuff...

They drove back to the Rouge in silence. Nathan kept his bandaged hand on the seat next to him. He was almost to the marina when he glanced down and saw that Duke had entwined his fingers with Nathan’s. 

Maybe he hadn’t screwed anything up after all.

Once inside the Rouge, Duke spun on Nathan. “Where did that come from? Since when do you like men?”

Nathan wasn’t sure how to answer. He was tired of trying to hide these new emotions from Duke. It was exhausting and didn’t seem to work anyway. This trouble was forcing him to reevaluate a lot of things in his life. His relationship with Duke was one of those things.

“You said you wanted to kiss me. I just...,” Nathan began.

Duke cut him off, “Just took advantage of me? Where are these feelings coming from, huh? You’ve never expressed any interest in me before.”

Nathan stiffened, “I did NOT take advantage of you! You were broadcasting those thoughts right into my head!”

“No, Nathan, I wasn’t. They just slipped out. I was sure by now you could tell when I was actually talking to you as opposed to just having normal everyday thoughts!” Duke said raising his voice.

Nathan scoffed, “Normal everyday thoughts? We’ve known each other for thirty years, Duke. You mean to tell me you’ve always thought my eyes were gorgeous? And it’s an everyday occurrence for you to think about kissing me?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Duke protested.

“Then what do you mean? Just say it because if we aren’t completely honest with each other this damn trouble is never going away! I’ve already got one shitty trouble, no thanks to you, I don’t need another one!” Nathan yelled.

“Nathan, stop! Just stop. I don’t want to do this again. I can’t do this again. Whether or not you want to admit it, nothing has changed between us!” Duke yelled back.

“Things haven’t changed because you haven’t let me in. You keep your guard up all the time but then say I don’t listen to you. The only time I get to see the real you is when you let your thoughts slip or like today when you are overwhelmed. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed you but it’s not fair to say I violated your thoughts. I have no control over what I hear and you know it! You know I’m telling the truth because you should be able to feel what I’m feeling right now,” Nathan told him sounding defeated.

“I do feel what you’re feeling and I’m still totally confused! It’s this crazy mixture of attraction and wariness with a sprinkle of fear. So, I’m going to ask you again, since when do you like men?” Duke asked moving closer to Nathan. 

“I don’t! I mean I’ve never...God, Duke it’s...just because I haven’t acted on it doesn’t mean I don’t like men. In a town like Haven AND being the Police Chief’s son how easy do you think that would have been for me?” Nathan admitted not daring to look at Duke. 

Duke reached out making sure Nathan saw his hand touch his face and forced him to look up, “I’ll let you in. I’ll let you see whatever you think will solve this trouble. Just please tell me what I need to apologize for. What did I do to you to hurt you so bad that you can’t trust me?”

“You put tacks in my back...,” Nathan started his voice breaking.

“It’s not about the Goddamn tacks and you know it. Tell me what all of this is really about.” Duke persisted.

Nathan nodded, his eyes brimming with tears he was determined not to shed. “You want to know what all of this is really about? Fine. You left me here. You were my best friend! You abandoned me for an exciting life in far away places. You didn’t even say goodbye! One day you were here and the next you were gone. I was stuck here and you didn’t give a damn!”

Duke sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I was dying here, Nathan. I didn’t want to leave you but I had no money, no job, no future. No one in this shitty town was ever going to let me forget I was a no good Crocker.”

“People did care. And they tried to help you,” Nathan pointed out.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know what Laverne did for me or the McShaws? But it wasn’t enough and I wasn’t going to cost anyone their job or their marriage because they were helping me,” Duke replied.

“You never asked me,” Nathan said softly.

“Yes, I did, Nathan. You didn’t listen to me,” Duke said bluntly. 

Nathan started to protest but Duke showed him a memory which Nathan realized was just days before he was arrested for prostitution.

_**[Duke walked up to Nathan outside his house. Nathan looked up from what he was doing and greeted Duke, “Hey, how ya doing?” Duke looked at his feet, “Not so good. Ummm...I need to ask you something...things have been crappy lately and you know I hate asking but...I...uh...need your help..” Nathan’s father pulled up and glared at them. He barked out something that Duke obviously doesn’t remember. Nathan rolled his eyes and tipped his head towards his father. “I gotta go before he really gets mad. Can we talk later?” He walked away from Duke without even a backwards glance.]** _

Nathan choked back the sob forming in his throat. He reached out and grabbed Duke, pulling him into an embrace. He knew he was holding on too tightly but he couldn't bring himself to let go. Duke hugged him back jostling him just enough to let him know.

Nathan whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

With those softy spoken words the Sullivan trouble faded away.


	12. Chapter 12

It was Nathan who realized the trouble was gone. He pulled out of the embrace and smiled at Duke. “It’s gone. We fixed it.”

Duke laughed, “Oh, thank God!”

Nathan cleared his throat and shifted uneasily. “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah, I think we do,” Duke replied sitting down at the table. He motioned for Nathan to join him.

Nathan sat down across from Duke.  
“I don’t know where to start,” he said not meeting Duke’s eyes

“How about what the hell happened at the Herald? What did those two say to make you try to kill their desk?” Duke asked trying to keep his tone light. 

Nathan looked confused. “That’s what you want to talk about? Really?”

“No, not really. But I figured we’d start easy and work up to the hard questions I know you aren’t ready to answer. So, tell me what did they say about me?” Duke asked again.

“They knew about what your parents did to you,” Nathan said like that answered everything. 

Duke nodded rubbing the back of his neck. “I figured they did, Nathan. A lot of people knew about my shitty life. But I doubt that’s why you punched the desk.”

Nathan shook his head. “It isn’t but I don’t want to hurt you by telling you what Vince said. I really wanted to punch him if that’s any consolation.”

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. I can live with that. What were you talking to Laverne about this morning that was so secret you had to wait until I was sleeping?” Duke asked.

Shocked, Nathan drew in a sharp breath. “How did you know?”

“I heard Audrey tell you not to upset her and not to go to dispatch because I’d feel it. You know I’m not a heavy sleeper, Nathan, no matter how loud I may snore,” Duke said chuckling.

“Can I not answer that either?” Nathan asked hopefully.

“Nope. Trust me...these really are the easy questions,” Duke said.

“I wanted to find out if there was something in your past that might help with the trouble and I knew if I pushed you too far you’d shut down and start singing. She told me about the abuse. And about the prostitution arrest,” Nathan answered not meeting Duke’s eyes again.

Duke sighed, “Yeah, not my finest hour. You’re right, I probably wouldn’t have answered you. Thank you for at least going to Laverne and not someone who hated me. So, are you ready for the hard questions yet?”

“Those were easy questions? What could be harder than telling my best friend that I know he was giving blowjobs to random men so he wouldn’t starve?” Nathan said clearly mortified.

Duke ran his hand through his hair again before responding to Nathan. “I’m not proud of a lot of things in my past but I did what I had to in order to survive. I’m sorry you had to find out like that though. Must’ve been pretty awkward hearing it from Laverne, huh?” 

Nathan grimaced, “You have no idea. So, what are the hard questions?”

“You have any plans to finish what you started at the hospital?” Duke asked really wishing he had thought to pour them both a drink.

Nathan opened his mouth to answer when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket. “It’s Audrey. I don’t have to answer it...”

“No, she’ll worry. Just answer it. These questions will keep,” Duke said getting up to get a bottle of whisky and two glasses. Hopefully, it wasn't another trouble and Nathan wouldn’t have to leave. He sat back down and listened to Nathan’s side of the conversation.

“Yes, I’m sure it’s gone. No, it’s not broken, just sprained. I’m still on the Rouge. Can we talk about this later? Yes, I’m fine. Yeah, he’s fine, too. I just...need to take care of something important. I’ll meet you at the Gull later? Thank you, Parker, I know I’ve been difficult through all this.”

Nathan hit the end button and looked down at the glass of whisky Duke set in front of him. He picked it up and drank it down savoring the sweet flavors before looking up. 

Duke was watching him, patiently waiting for him to continue their conversation. The look on his face wasn't guarded, it was a mix of vulnerable and hopeful. He didn’t know how to answer the question Duke had asked. 

Was he prepared to finish what he started? He had no fucking clue. This was totally uncharted territory for him. He may be attracted to men but he had zero experience. He barely had experience with women and definitely not like this. Not while his trouble was active. 

Duke’s gaze was making him uncomfortable. He reached for the bottle of whisky and poured himself another glass. He downed it and stood up trying to work out what to say.

Duke sighed and reached for Nathan. He managed to grab his wrist and pull him back to the table before standing up. He looked into Nathan’s eyes and the words of comfort he thought to say got caught in his throat. This was the first time in a long time those eyes didn’t hold contempt or something close to hatred. Right now they looked brighter and bluer than the sea that Duke loved so much. And they seemed to be filled with a softness he had never really associated with Nathan until today. He knew Nathan was struggling and decided to make things easier on him.

He cleared his throat. “Let me rephrase my question,” Duke began relieved he sounded calmer than he actually felt. “Do you want to try that kiss again?”

Nathan lowered his gaze and stared at Duke’s hand on his wrist. He was gently rubbing his thumb across Nathan’s pulse. Watching Duke’s simple show of affection, imagining what it felt like sent a jolt of pleasure through his whole body. He didn’t trust himself to speak yet. Instead he just nodded and looked up to meet Duke’s eyes again. He moved closer to Duke trying to figure out what he should do when Duke held him still.

“Let me do this.” Duke reached up and tilted Nathan’s jaw getting the perfect angle to ever so slowly lower his lips to meet Nathan’s. 

He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. He knew he’d have to figure out how to compensate for Nathan’s trouble. 

Nathan’s lips were soft beneath his but the kiss was messy and Nathan pulled back almost immediately.

“Don’t close your eyes. Look at me,” Duke whispered before gently maneuvering Nathan across the room until his back was against the wall.

Duke leaned in again and this time Nathan kept his eyes open. Duke kept the kiss slow and soft until Nathan relaxed into him. Then he became more insistent, trying to coax Nathan’s mouth open. Gently pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth. 

Nathan groaned softly as he opened his mouth allowing Duke to deepen the kiss and sweep his tongue lazily inside. The sweet honey flavor of the whisky they just shared flooded Nathan’s mouth. He reached out and grabbed Duke’s waist pulling him closer. Duke moaned softly when Nathan’s fingers brushed across the bare skin where his shirt had ridden up. It was an intoxicating sound and Nathan wanted to hear it again and again. He moved his non-injured hand slowly up Duke’s back and was rewarded with another soft moan. 

Duke pulled away from Nathan never breaking eye contact. He grinned when Nathan swayed slightly. “You okay?” He asked.

“I’ve never...that was...I could almost _feel_ that,” Nathan replied lowering his hand back to Duke’s waist.

Duke grinned and leaned in to kiss Nathan’s neck. “Why don’t we try to see what else we can make you _almost_ feel?”

Nathan shivered just imagining what Duke was doing to his neck. Was he kissing it, biting it, sucking marks into it? Excitement pooled deep in his stomach. He didn’t know where this was heading but he was fine with that. He was fine with letting Duke take control. 

Nathan looked down at his hands and pushed them up under Duke’s clothes. Running them over his back hoping to elicit more of those indecent sounds Duke was making during their kiss. He wasn’t disappointed. Duke moaned in his ear and rocked forward into Nathan.

“I think I want my shirt back,” Duke said leaning back just enough to unbutton the shirt Nathan was wearing. When he reached the last button he slid the shirt off Nathan’s shoulders and let it drop to the floor. 

“That’s better,” He whispered dropping kisses along Nathan’s collarbone and running his hands over Nathan’s bare chest. 

Nathan sucked in his breath and let out a soft moan. It was extremely arousing to watch Duke touch him but he wanted to see more. “This is hardly fair. You’re still wearing all your clothes,” he said his voice low and full of desire. 

Duke grinned again and pulled his shirt over his head. “Is this what you wanted?” He asked stepping back into Nathan’s space. He moaned loudly when Nathan ran his hands over his chest. 

Nathan was fascinated by the way Duke responded to his touch. “What do _you_ want, Duke?” 

“Anything, everything. Whatever you want to do to me,” Duke replied bringing Nathan’s wrist to his mouth. His eyes never left Nathan’s as he kissed and licked along his pulse. 

Nathan’s gaze was riveted on what Duke was doing. He was extremely grateful Duke had him pinned against the wall with his hips because he wasn’t sure he could stand on his own right now. He moaned softly again. He didn’t think he had ever been this turned on before even without his trouble. How was Duke drawing these reactions from him when he couldn’t _feel_ anything?

“How about we move this somewhere more comfortable?” Duke suggested pulling Nathan away from the wall. He kept his hand wrapped around Nathan’s wrist as he guided him to the bedroom. 

Nathan allowed himself to be pushed onto the bed. His eyes grew wide when Duke straddled him and leaned in to kiss him again. This time he opened his mouth without any coaxing from Duke. He let his tongue wander into Duke’s mouth searching out that sweet taste of whisky. 

Duke pulled away from the kiss and buried his head in Nathan’s shoulder, trying to catch his breath. Being with Nathan like this was exhilarating and they had barely done more than kissing. He sat up wanting to check in with Nathan. To be sure he was okay with all of this. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked noticing Nathan’s slightly dazed expression.

“Yeah...I think so...I’m just a little overwhelmed right now,” Nathan answered honestly. 

Duke smiled and his eyes sparkled with mischief. “Then how about we calm you down?”

He leaned closer and supported his weight on his forearms so he wouldn’t crush Nathan.

Nathan narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “And how are you going to do that?”

“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside...” Duke started singing.

Nathan groaned, “Don’t...”

Duke ignored him and kept singing, “I’m not one of those who can easily hide.”

“Yeah, hiding is not your forte,” Nathan chuckled.

“I don’t have much money, but boy if I did...I’d buy a big house where we both could live..,” Duke continued smiling.

“First of all, you have more money than I do...wait are you asking me to move in with you?” Nathan asked raising an eyebrow. 

Duke shook his head trying very hard not to laugh. “So, excuse me forgetting but these things I do. You see, I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue...”

“You’re looking right at them, Crocker. They’re blue,” Nathan deadpanned.

“Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean is yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen...”

“Oh, now they’re sweet? They’ve been downgraded from gorgeous?” Nathan laughed.

Duke stopped singing and burst out laughing. “How do you feel now?”

Nathan reached up and pulled Duke down on top of him. “Better. Still have no clue what I’m doing but I trust you.”

“Good, because I’m not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with. So...do you want to stop?” Duke asked.

“No...I definitely do NOT want to stop,” Nathan said pulling Duke closer so he could kiss his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Duke is singing to Nathan is “Your Song” by Elton John


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left...

Duke’s cell phone woke him a few hours later. It was Tracy. They were short a bartender and she wanted to know what he wanted her to do. He sighed and told her he’d be there as soon as he could. 

He put the phone on the nightstand and smiled when he felt strong arms pull him close. “You have to go?” Nathan asked sleepily.

“Yeah, closing shift. One of my bartenders is sick,” Duke said turning to face Nathan.

“I told Parker I’d meet her there so I’ll go with you.” Nathan said reaching to brush the hair out of Duke’s face.

“What are you going to tell her?” Duke asked seriously.

Nathan shrugged, “The truth. That we’re together...we are together, right?”

When Duke didn’t answer right away Nathan pulled away from him and sat up. He looked down at Duke, confusion written all over his face. “Did I misread this? Was this not...”

Duke pulled him back down and cut him off with a kiss. “Stop. Yes, we are together. I just don’t think we should tell anyone...aside from Audrey, I mean. But can you not tell her at the Gull? Maybe go up to her apartment?”

“You ashamed of this? Of me?” Nathan asked softly. 

“What? No! Nathan, you’re the Chief of Police. I’m thinking about your reputation. What do you think people are going to say when they find out you’re sleeping with me? If anything you should be ashamed of me,” Duke replied.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a good man, Duke. I’m not hiding this from anyone. Yours and Audrey’s opinion are the only ones I really care about. People need to mind their own business anyway,” Nathan said wrapping his arms around Duke.

Duke wiggled out of Nathan’s embrace and grabbed his hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed his palm. “We’ll talk about this later. We need to get dressed.”

Nathan didn’t argue but he had no intention of keeping this a secret. “I need a shower.”

Duke laughed, “Yeah, so do I. Let me adjust your water and I’ll get you some clothes.”

They arrived at The Gull just as the dinner rush was starting. Before they got out of the Bronco, Nathan pulled Duke closer to kiss him.

Duke gave him a quick kiss and pulled back. “Nathan...I was serious. I don’t want to fuck up your reputation.”

Nathan ignored him and got out of the Bronco to follow Duke inside. 

“I’m going to check on things. I’ll send some food out for you and Audrey. I think she’s at your regular table,” Duke said heading to the kitchen. 

Nathan reached out and squeezed Duke’s shoulder. “Pancakes?”

Duke shook his head. “No. Not pancakes. You’ve had them for like the last three meals. I’ll make something you’ll like.”

Nathan watched Duke leave and then headed across the restaurant to find Audrey. Duke was right she was sitting at their regular table staring out the window sipping her drink. 

“Hey,” he said sitting down.

She looked up at smiled at him. “Hey! So, how does it feel with only your thoughts in your head?”

“Great. I forgot how quiet things could be. I’m sorry I left you to clean up my mess with Vince and Dave,” Nathan said.

Audrey chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. Those two are typical town gossips. It’s about time someone called them on their bullshit. I’m just sorry whatever they said was so upsetting you felt the need to hurt yourself.”

“Well, I got lucky and it’s not broken. But yeah, what they said was all kinds of wrong. It was mostly Vince, though I’m sure Dave felt the same way.” Nathan replied. 

One of the waitresses walked over to them with another drink for Audrey and a beer for Nathan. “Duke said the food will be right out.”

“Thanks,” Audrey said noticing Nathan smile at the mention of food. Or was it Duke’s name?

“So, how are you two doing? Everything okay? I mean I know the trouble is sorted but is your friendship intact?” Audrey questioned.

Duke appeared with two plates of food before Nathan had a chance to answer. He set the plates down and smiled at them. “I’m going to have to help Tracy out tonight so I won’t be able to get over here much. If you need anything just let Tara know...she brought out your drinks.”

“Thanks Duke, this looks delicious!” Audrey said looking at her plate of grilled shrimp, steak and mixed vegetables.

Nathan looked down at his plate and broke out into a grin. “I thought you said...”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what I said. But this is it. You’re getting real food for dinner tomorrow,” Duke said turning to leave.

Nathan reached out and grabbed his wrist to pull him back. 

Duke sighed. He knew if he pulled away or ignored him, Nathan would think he lied about not being ashamed of their new relationship. He wasn’t ashamed. He was trying to protect Nathan from the narrow minded people in Haven. He didn’t want to hide his feelings. What he really wanted to do was lean down and kiss Nathan senseless. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to finally have something good in his life. 

He turned back to look at Nathan and raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“You’re amazing, you know that right?” Nathan said winking at him.

Duke laughed, “And you’re letting those pancakes get cold.”

Nathan let go and watched him walk away before turning back to Audrey. She was watching him with wide eyes. “What was that? Are you two...did you and Duke?”

“We realized we’re better together than apart,” Nathan said taking a bite of his pancakes.

“Wow! This trouble turned out better than I ever expected!” Audrey exclaimed.

“You aren’t surprised?” Nathan asked putting his fork down.

“Not really. I mean I never actively thought about you and Duke together but it makes sense. I’m happy for you. You do so much for other people you deserve to be happy,” Audrey answered squeezing his hand. 

“He’s afraid us being together is going to ruin my reputation. I told him he’s wrong,” Nathan said frowning.

“He’s not entirely wrong, Nathan. People are going to talk. Your reputation may not be ruined but it’s going to take a hit. Are you prepared for that?” Audrey said bluntly.

“I really don’t care what anyone thinks. People are going to talk no matter who I’m with. This town almost killed him. He doesn’t owe them anything especially his happiness or mine. The troubles could kill us tomorrow. I’m done wasting time.” Nathan explained.

Audrey smiled. “Good. I’m glad you aren’t going to let a bunch of busybodies dictate your life. But if you want Duke on board with that maybe you should tell him what you just told me.”

Nathan looked over at the bar. Duke was busy pouring drinks and chatting up the customers. He looked up and flashed Nathan a warm smile. Nathan smiled back. “Don’t worry, Parker, I will.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is my friends...the last chapter! Enjoy!

It was well past two when Duke was finally able to leave the Gull. He had persuaded Nathan to go home around midnight. He promised to call him when he was finished but Duke didn’t think Nathan would want to be wakened this late when he had to work in the morning. He locked up and turned towards the marina to walk home. He stopped short when he saw Nathan leaning against the back of the Bronco.

“Have you been out here this whole time?” Duke asked shaking his head.

Nathan laughed, “No, I’ve been upstairs with Parker. I came down about ten minutes ago. You don’t have your car. I wasn’t going to make you walk home.”

“It’s not that far. Don’t you have to be at the station in five hours?” Duke said stopping in front of Nathan. 

Nathan shrugged, grabbing Duke’s waist to pull him close. “I’m the Chief. I can go in later. Wanted to take you home.”

Duke smiled, “Are you propositioning me, Chief Wuornos?”

Nathan’s smile faltered, “Uh...”

“Relax, Nathan. It was a joke. Seriously though...you taking me back to your house or the Rouge?” Duke asked.

“I’ll go wherever you want me to go. I just want to be with you,” Nathan replied softly.

Duke reached up and put a hand around Nathan’s neck to pull him into a quick kiss. “Let’s go back to the Rouge. That way I can cook you breakfast.”

“Can you...” Nathan started.

“Absolutely not. I will not make you any more pancakes!” Duke said heading towards the passenger side.

Nathan got in and started the Bronco. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the marina. “I talked to Audrey. She’s happy for us. I told her that you wanted to keep this a secret to protect my reputation. I also told her I didn’t care what other people thought. We deserve to be happy after all this town has done to us. But I’ve been thinking...”

Duke tensed instinctively, preparing himself for the worst. Which didn’t make sense since not two minutes ago Nathan told him he wanted to be with him. He took a deep breath to calm himself and turned to listen to what Nathan had to say.

“I don’t think you owe this town anything. I think you should be able to have a relationship with whomever you choose without fear of reprisals. That being said, I also don’t want you doing anything that you don’t want to do. So, if you want to keep this a secret I’m fine with it. Like I said, all I want is to be with you.” Nathan kept stealing glances at Duke waiting for him to say something.

“Nathan, you don’t know what that means to hear you say that. I honestly just want to protect you. I don’t want people to judge you or gossip about this. But I also really liked the way you looked at me tonight. I want to be able to put my arm around you or grab your hand whenever the mood strikes me. I didn’t realize how much I wanted that until you smiled at me. If you’re okay with busybodies like Vince and Dave making comments I’m okay with not hiding this.”

“I’m sure we’ll be big news for a week or two but then some trouble is going to come along and shift the attention off of us,” Nathan said pulling up to the marina. 

Duke hopped out of the car. “Okay, I’m done talking about this. I can think of much better things we can be doing.”

“Care to show me?” Nathan asked grabbing Duke’s hand and kissing his palm like Duke had done to him earlier. 

Duke grinned and pulled Nathan inside. He locked the door behind them and pushed Nathan so his back was against the wall again.

“You know, I never got the chance to tell you that you look hot in my clothes,” Duke whispered running his hands down the shirt Nathan was wearing. He slowly pulled it out of Nathan’s jeans and began unbuttoning it.

“But you look even hotter out of my clothes.” He said pulling the shirt off and tossing it on the floor.

Nathan sighed running his fingers through Duke’s hair. He loved the way Duke talked to him. Loved the sound of his voice when it dropped low and teasing. He watched Duke trace patterns on his now bare chest and he knew if he could feel it his stomach would be fluttering.

“I don’t know how you are doing this but I am so turned on right now.” He said running his hands down Duke’s back stopping to grab his ass. 

“Good to know,” Duke said before bringing his mouth to Nathan’s. 

Nathan tentatively swept his tongue inside Duke’s mouth. The taste of peppermint surprised him. Had Duke done that to enhance the kiss? To make it better for him? He found himself reaching up to pull Duke closer, to deepen the kiss.

He heard Duke laugh against his mouth and pulled back, “What?”

“Don’t choke on the peppermint you just stole out of my mouth,” Duke teased.

“Way to kill the mood, Duke,” Nathan said crunching the candy.

“Oh, I think I can get us back on track,” Duke said pulling Nathan from the wall and towards the bedroom.

This time he let Nathan push him onto the bed. Nathan straddled him and tugged on his shirt. “Why are you still wearing this? I want to see you.”

Duke pulled his shirt over his head and looked up at Nathan. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of staring into those perfect eyes. “Better?”

“Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” Nathan asked leaning down to kiss Duke’s neck. He watched Duke close his eyes, pleasure written all over his face. He moved lower and started planting little kisses all over Duke’s chest. Duke moaned and the sound sent waves of pleasure through Nathan’s body. 

“Good?” Nathan asked moving the kisses lower. Wanting to hear more of those soft moans that he found so intoxicating. 

“You are so good at this. I want you, Nathan,” Duke said wrapping his arms around Nathan.

“You have me, Duke,” Nathan whispered his voice soft and warm.

Duke’s heart skipped a beat. Those words, spoken with what could only be described as love; shook Duke to his core. No one had ever said anything close to that to him before. People tended to use him to get their satisfaction and then toss him aside like he was nothing, worthless. Somehow he knew it would never be like that with Nathan. It was more and would always be more. 

He pulled Nathan closer, not wanting any space between them. He shifted to kiss Nathan. He put everything he had into the kiss wanting to show Nathan just how much those words meant to him.

Nathan was breathless when they broke apart. “Tell me again, Duke, what do you want?”

“You. I want you,” Duke whispered.

Nathan smiled and gave Duke what he wanted.

Afterwards, they stayed wrapped in each other, not wanting to let go. Not wanting it to end. Nathan stroked Duke’s side, wanting nothing more than to feel the soft skin beneath his fingers. It took a moment to realize that Duke’s contented sighs were enough. This was everything he wanted but never thought he’d have. And looking into Duke’s eyes he knew the words they both left unspoken.

_I’m not going anywhere..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for more fics...I have one that is almost finished and two that are in the outline stage. Thanks for reading and commenting! I truly appreciate each and every comment, kudos, and hit. You guys are the best!


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